Merry christmas...

Xmas is near, I am in NO xmas mood. Oh this year it´s bad. Haven´t baked any cookies. Didn´t write and send any xmas card. And gift shopping is WAAHHHHH !!!! But... with friends it will be fine.


So to all my faithful blogreaders...

Merry christmas and a happy new year !

I wish you all a wonderful holiday season. All the presents you want. All the loved ones around you. A wonderful time !

Love...

If somebody doesn´t love you the way you want, doesn´t mean he doesn´t love you at all !!!!

It´s hard to feel unloved. It´s painful to feel unloved. It hurts to feel rejected. How much can you take before you crack? You give love, you love with all your heart, the wind is blowing hard and harder in your face. Tears rolling down every day now. Your heart hurts, you feel the pain. You hear 3 words. " I LOVE YOU !" is it enough? Enough to hang on ? You are quiet. you don´t talk back, afraid of upsetting somebody, ending up being the bad one again. Saying things he doesn´t like, doesn´t wanna think about, doesn´t wanna talk about. Yeah you are the one he loves. You are the one he ignores. You are the one he doesn´t wanna talk to. You are the one he is not interested in how your day was. No loving word. You take a step forward, you get thrown back 2 steps. You need him the most, he doesn´t even have a word of love and support. He is in distress. He is in pain. He needs me so much. He doesn´t know what to do. He is desperate. He feels lost. He loves with all his heart. He can´t hold his love. He can´t touch her. He can´t kiss her. He forgets to get a present. A card? Nothing...

Everything will be fine

Angie

my big girl...

oh oh... my girl is growing up... and to fast for me...oh man... she went to her first disco visit yesterday... it was a charity event... kids for kids... she spent almost all afternoon to get ready... i want my lil girl back...waaaahhhhhhh... this is going to fast for me... slow down my beautiful girl... mummy cant keep up with letting go... :(... its hard but i am also proud... sigh... sigh...

UHHHH.....

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change..The courage to change the things I cannot accept..And the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people, I had to kill today..because they pissed me off!

i know... scott and me agreed to not talk about or give any attention to "IT". Sorry i have to say IT cause my man would freak hearing her name... she must have such a lousy poor life sheezeee... yesterday another PM... it´s been a year now and she is still stalking us with her sick friends... it turns out to be really funny... how pathetic... get a good fuck lah... from that hubbie u love so much... if ever... hmmm never... but if ever scott and me decide to seperate... it WONT BE CAUSE OF YOU !!! oh Jesus... she must have a miserable life... so why not let her take part in ours? have a glimpse at how happy we are... its been 22 months and there is no end in sight... sigh... oh grow up bitch and start thinking... you really thought i fall for your stupid tricks? so easy to see through... maybe think more and try harder... use some of your brain cells... you know what those are dont you? Well gotta go... hope scott doesnt get mad at me for mentioning her... but i feel so much pitty for her... sorry... but she made me laugh so many times he he he...

Everything will be fine

Angie

Monrose...

The last few weeks we have been watching POPSTARS and we loved it. We laughed and cried and we sang with them. The girls were so talented and it was a joy to see them perform. And we cried everytime one of our favourite had to leave. But the final band is just right. Senna ( was geht mann, krass ), Mandy ( sweet 16 ) and of course my fave Bahar ( www.bahar-freiburg.de ) . I am a fan of Bahar, she has so much talent. We cried when she performed Shame. Oh man...

www.monrose.de

Our final conversation
It lies heavy on the mind
And although we couldn’t say it
I think we know, we can’t go back this time

Though love and desperation
Is the writing on the wall?
And will all the lights stop flashing
Or is this the final curtain call

It’s such a shame, it’s such a shame
Don’t walk away, don’t walk away
All this time I thought I knew myself
But once again, I bury my head in shame.

Nothing lasts forever
A flower always dies
I never fed the beauty
Why can’t I see through other people’s eyes?

I’ve paid the price for all my sins
And when love ends new life begins
My independence always nails me to the floor
And it leaves me wanting more, leaves me wanting more

I got everything a girl could ever need
So why do I still feel like my life’s so incomplete
You made me beautiful, brought me to my knees
So please don’t go
don’t take the missing piece

It’s such a shame, it’s such a shame
Don’t walk away, don’t walk away
All this time I thought I knew myself
But once again, I bury my head in shame.

Dear Santa ...

all i want for xmas is HIM !!!!!!!!!!!

Dear Santa...

I think i have been extremely good this past year. And i write to you real early that u can make my only wish come true...

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There's just one thing I need
I don't care about presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want himfor my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true...
All I want for Christmas Is Scott...

I won't ask for much this Christmas
I won't even wish for snow
I'm just gonna keep on waiting
Underneath the mistletoe

Oh I don't want a lot for Christmas
This is all I'm asking for
I just want to see my baby
Standing right outside my door
Oh I just want him for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
oh Baby all I want for Christmas...is
...you!

Teena ...

... i just read that Teenas Dad passed away a short while ago. We are so sorry to hear that Teena. Our heart goes out to you. We know what difficult time this must be for you. Our prayers and thoughts are with you Teena.

Angie and Scott

almost here ...

Did I hear you right?
Cause I thought you said
Let's think it over
You have been my life
And I never planned
Growing old without you

Shadows bleeding through the light
Where the love once shined so bright
Came without a reason
Don't let go on us tonight
Love's not always black and white
Haven't I always loved you?

But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
´cause your only almost here

I would change the world
If I had a chance
Oh won't you let me
Treat me like a child
Throw your arms around me
Oh please protect me

Bruised and battered by your words
Days are shattered, how it hurts
Oh, haven't I always loved you?

But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause your only almost here



But when I need you
you're almost here
Well I never knew how far behind I'd left you
And when I hold you
You're almost here
Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted
And now I'm with you
I'm close to tears
Cause I know I'm almost here ...

A wonderful song sung by Delta Goodrem and Brian McFadden... Almost here... nothing more to say...

Everything will be fine

Angie

time...

time ... 2:30 pm
wearing ... black pants and a blue t-shirt
listening to ... Brad Paisley " She is everything to me "
cried last ... a half hour ago
talked last to ... julia
drinking ... warm tea
eating ... an orange
today i have to ... iron clothes, watch popstars finale, see sabine and silke, cry some more
i miss ... you all know that answer huh
tomorrow ... bake a cake, work a bit, TGIF, see maybe sylvia ?

Hey there ...

Hey everyone...sorry i haven´t been on that much lately... life is keeping me busy...but you all know what i am talking about huh... days go by so fast... julias bday has passed...she is becoming a wonderful young lady... but hard to handle sometimes... puberty sigh... i have to learn many things too... how to treat her and not always to jump at her, reminding myself that her hormons are at fault... grrrrr... today is thursday... weekend is here...thank god... its getting cold... just smsd scott but i guess he fell asleep infront of the idiot box... he had night shifts all week and it was too hot to sleep during the day... poor guy... i had a strange dream last night... Jaiveer tried to call me... i answered the phone but couldnt understand what he was saying... then there was scott... he ripped my pics up saying he doesnt need them anymore... he doesnt wanna kiss me anymore... he stopped doing that a long time ago... yelling at me to stop asking him stupid questions he doesnt wanna answer... what a stupid dream... sighhh... yesterday i spent the whole afternoon in a workshop sitting beside our major... oh man... that irritated me... i dont like that man... but i get good in faking laughs when he makes stupid jokes ... i am not a good politician... too sensitive i guess... cant lie... julia went iceskating... she has her first big english exam tomorrow... there is a big pressure on her cause she is the only one who spoke english already.. she has since growing up... she speaks english, spanish and german... she is very talented... i am proud of her...her english teacher knows me... tries to talk in english with me everytime he sees me...