Done...

i am done... done ... done done done... i dont want to do this anymore... i held on as long as i could... but now its just enough... he has overdone it... i tried to be my best... giving him always a chance... but today i just felt its enough... i feel empty... i just wanted to get out... he tells me i wanna control everything and i am complaining all the time...

guess what... he is so lucky he is so far away... i wanted to slap him...he is free...no more control and no more complaining.... i am nothing of that...i was so pissed...still am.... SO PISSED!!!!!!!! and i dont mean drunk... what more??? tell me what???....

he is a free man... he can do whatever he wants to with whoever he wants... i dont care anymore.. i am not sad just upset..

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the other girl...

so we broke up... and we were battling being alone... he told me a while ago he was hoping to start a serious relationship with another girl.. kristine... i was shocked... really shocked... i didnt understand... i still dont understand...

he wanted to make it serious with her but she went back to her ex... then he suddenly rememberd me?... he said he thinks he made a big mistake and he wished he could have me back?... hello !!!!!!!!!! reality check!!!!!!!!!!!

what is this? ... where were his feelings for me when he was with this girl?... turned off?... i still dont understand that he freaks out now when i try to talk about it...

even yesterday... i told him i dont understand... he said i would always bring up yesterdays things and i should leave it alone... HELLO????????

now he expects me to be quiet about it?...
i cant say anything?...
in what world does he live in?... i have to swallow all this and i cant talk with him about it?
then this daniel story... that he emailed her and wanted to humiliate her...
so nice to have a brother who loves you so much ... this just doesnt feel right...

i have a right to talk about it with him... do you hear that????
I HAVE A RIGHT TO TALK WITH YOU ABOUT IT!

damned....DAMNED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

big boobs...

big boobs... always had them... not fake ones... the ones god gave me... but now they become a burden... i have so much shoulder and neck pain...every day... i wanna have a breast reduction... real bad...

scott is sad... he wants em big... but i cant look out for his feelings or wantings... i am in pain... and i want them smaller...he asked what he can do for me to keep them... what??? nothing... now he accepted it...

ok ok....

ok ok...u buggin me cause of Karen... i know i gotta finish the story.. ok... i cant remember how i ended my last karen post... didnt know you were so interested in this story...

so... i met this cute guy... madness... an aussie bloke... we had a lot of fun online... we grew to be close friends... we talked about quite a bit... but he forgot to mention karen... i had no idea... i knew his brothers and he took me to that chatroom but i instantly got bombed out... i had no idea at that time that it was karen... scott never told me...

he let me believe everything is ok...we messaged each other when we were about to go on to talk to... we were very comfortable with each other...we started a close friendship... everything was going fine....

i thought... till that day when i went to his room and i got slaughtered...i had no idea... can you imagine ?... no you cant... i couldnt either... i went in there and they attacked me... why? i didnt know... she said scott is her man and i should stop stalking him !!... i couldnt understand... me stalking him?... i was so confused... i asked scott to tell me what is going on... but he was quiet...he watched them cussing at me... saying things that were untrue... i didnt understand and i left...

i was devastated... i cried and called him on the phone... he didnt answer.. i tried to message him...he didnt answer... all i wanted to know was why? WHY?

was i so wrong? ... he played me all this time?... how could he tell them i was stalking him?...
i was so down and i couldnt believe it... i had to think he was lying to me... all the things he said... the promises he made... i opend up and i got hurt... my own fault i guess...

i had people there to catch me... even scotts own bro brendon was there for me... we kept contact and he cheered me up... we did it behind scotts back... i didnt want scott to know i was talking to brendon...

i never got hurt like this... even brendon couldnt explain... so i thought ok... karen gives him what he wants and needs and i am not the one...

till the day...

we started talking behind karens back...he couldnt explain why he did what he did... i still couldnt understand....

we agreed to be friends.... we kept contact... not online anymore...

about 2,5 years ago our contact got closer... he decided to win my heart back... i wasnt ready...
i couldnt forget what he did...

he explained... he told them i was stalking him to protect me from them... he was scared they would hurt me... WTF!!! how could that protect me??

he didnt know why karen got a hold of him... he wanted to protect what we had and paniked... gosh

i was the only one that was hurt...
yeah he lost me but i guess he wasnt too serious being with me...

so... he worked hard...
did a lot of talking...
did lot of loving...
he showed his true self...
i always knew was there


he is such a wonderful father... i fell in love with a wonderful man called scott missen...
he showed me who he really was... and it worked...

yup... guess thats the story... i made it quick and without too many details...

sorry sorry sorry...

so sorry people... i haven´t been on blogging... so busy here... and so hot weather that u don´t wanna do too much... we have a bbq tonight... got some things to do...

short news: lol...

life going great...
hot weather...
visitors from vienna still here...
my place looks so messy with all the people staying but i stopped cleaning up after them... too hot... just dont care anymore
sabine is doing ok...
we had a nice time in bregenz meeting our chancellor... got a pic with him
love andi, love Sabine, love my friends...
to those who want to know about scott... we still talk... there are feelings but NO!!!! relationship
sorry to disappoint you...
he messed it up... i won´t go back
to Teena... hope u feeling better !
To the new readers... welcome here on my blog!
to the one who invented high heels for us ladies.... kill him!!! my feet hurt so much last time
at the party !!!
to gabi... before u arrange dates for me... please talk to me guy in person!!! i don´t care if he is a nice guy! but ok i´ll come to vienna and we´ll see what happens... love ya girl
Miss PJ!! MISSS UUUU PJJJJJ !!!


to SILKE---- HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!!
we´ll celebrate today and drink some good cocktails!
NO I WON´T MESSAGE SCOTT CAUSE I AM DRUNK! WILL GIVE MY PHONE TO SABINE!
NO WORRIES PEOPLE!

i wish u all a wonderful weekend !
love ya all ... stay beautiful !

everything will be fine

Angie

pleasure for the eyes...

well well ladies... look what hot guys we are housing right now here in rankweil... sighh... cant u just melt away... they do so many wonderful performances... we have participants from 57 countries visiting here and i guess we found our FAVOURITES!!!

there are so many groups... youngs kids to 50+... it´s so much fun to see them perform... yesterday we saw... australians ( from sydney yup!)... sweden...canadia.. denmark... great britain... japan... and so many more... we go back there today and we are eager to see how they will surprise us today...

and u can make so many new good friends from different parts of the world....

our cameras are ready and we will take some new good shots...

everything will be fine

angie

Saturday...

can be so stressy... ask Sabine... who freaked out when she found her just cleaned appartment destroyed by her two guys in her life...since HE, yup the soon gone hubbie, woke up... well i guess it was 1:30 pm... since then he is laying on the sofa... from the bed to the sofa... wohooo... doing absolutely nothing... well it´s sunday ... but is that an excuse? No way... says Sabine who is sitting right beside me...but she did feel better after she yelled at them... and having a nice relaxing bath while they clean up in a hurry is the best ! yup it is...she still seems to be a little stressed but that will go away ( i hope !)... she didn´t hit me so i guess she agrees...

Sabine: YES..... I agree!

Today the world gymnaestrada opens here ! lots of people from all over the world are in dornbirn and here in rankweil... all week the different nations will perform... we will try to go see lots of nice performances...
http://www.wg2007.com/index2.php?lng=2

my saturday was ok... nice nice evening thanks to herbert who entertained me ... lol... we will continue that conversation soon...

BIG....

Life earth concert was yesterday... try to watch a little of it... its a very important thing to do... safe our earth... this goes directly to the two main polluters USA and China ( i hope i remember right) ... but as long as money, wealth and power comes before saving our earth... its hopeless...

please go see Al Gores documentation... we have to safe the earth for us and more important for our kids.... dont put money first... do what u can to help... event little things help...

i am still so tired... gone to bed around 1:30 am...gonna get through the day... so hungry... not eaten yet...


the ongoing story with scott... well what can i say... he wants me back... but i cant get rid of this feeling that i am being lied to... sorry scott... and about this story with your brother... isnt love between brothers a wonderful thing huh... you didnt convince me ... the story stinks...

and even if i would believe the story? ... u think i would go back to ya after you wanted to be with somebody else?... I am not fucking Plan B! .... you made your choices... gosh... you had me and you lost me... if i am this "something more important thats waiting for you"... guess you made a big mistake... a mistake... you hurt me too much... and just saying "i love you" doesn´t make it better...

you are not even doing anything to get me back... nada... words don´t do it anymore....


everything will be fine

Angie

Honey sayz.....

So tired, tired of all this drama,
You go your way, I'll go mine
I need to be free!!

Broken heart again
Another lesson learned
Better know your friends
Or else you will get burned
Gotta count on me
Cause I can guarantee
That I'll be fine!!

No more pain
No drama
No more drama in my life
No one's gonna make me hurt again

Why'd I play the fool
Go through ups and downs
Knowing all the tim
eYou wouldn't be around
Maybe I like this best
Cause I was young and restless
But that was long ago
I don't want to cry no more!
No more games messing with my mind !

Oooh it feels so good
When you let go of all the drama in your life
Now you're free from all the pain
Free from all the game
Free from all the stress
So try for happiness!

I don't know Only god knows where the story ends for me.
But I know where the story begins
Its up to us to choose
Wether we win or loose
And I choose to win!

No more fears
No more waking me up in the morning
With your disturbing phone calls
No drama
Leave me alone
Go ahead
No more in my life!

rainy day...

its a rainy day... got meetings on every single evening this week... so tiring... everything is ok over here...

Julia made 1st Place in the trampolin championchips.... YAYYYY for my daughter !
she did all her jumps so well... like a champion... she is so talented...
Congratulations Baby !

Happy b-day....

happy Bday to my sis... she will be 33 tomorrow... we spent today together ( with my dad, his gf-damn i am getting a rush- and julia)... gosh i felt like i wanted to to anything else just not go through this day with them... but it turned out pretty good... we spent our sunday in Bregenz by the lake of constance... it was... still is a beautiful sunny day... my dad paid for everything yay... it was going well until julia hit me with her minigolf racket....

yup i forgot she is lefthanded... she hit me right on my left boob... damn that hurt... and there were 3 guys playing right behind us and i couldnt even rub my boob... it hurt... they were looking at me and so i turned around to rub my pain away... till i saw another guy starting at me... yup i guess i gave a few guys a good story to tell at home lol... it still hurts though... gonna have a big bruise i guess...

i behaved well today... just got annoyed a bit with all the tourists around me... there were a few male american tourists who thought i didnt understand when they said "yup i wanna be breastfed by her ha ha ha "... so fucking funny huh... i gave him the look... said "when hell freezes over" and walked away... just hearing a wohooo...

gosh i cant wait to reduce my breast size... Sorry scott... they are too big... i got so much pain lately... and nobody to massage the pain away...


anybody up to it??? message me please....

everything will be fine... ouch....

Ange