it`s been a while...

it´s been a while since Scott and me talked for longer on the phone. so it was nice to do that the other day. Although he was very tired and was about to go to sleep. He was working late. His voice still triggers many emotions in me. That butterfly in tummy feeling is still here, still after all this time. It´s been a bit quiet between us. But it is ok. It was akward since i asked myself, does he think of me too? Doesn´t he wanna know what i am up to like usually? Not talking doesn´t mean not caring. I know that. He, like me, always welcomed quiet days between us. It´s good to have space once in a while.

One question he asked was if it was ok for him to get a license and a motorcycle. Ok i thought, taking a deep breath. He is gonna do it anyways. so i said yes. But then i realised he would have walked away from that plan if i say NO. Wow. What a man huh. Of course i said i have no problem with it. I really dont. I just worry about him more now. it would kill me if something happend to him. But there is no reason he shouldn´t do it.

But that night i had a bad dream. I had it two nights in a row now. And i am scared. I dreamed that i got a call saying Scott had and accident and he is badly hurt. I rushed to him and he died in my arms. He just dissapeard. I woke up so frightend. I wasnt planing on telling him. But since he would know anyways reading it here i told him in a short sms a little while ago. We haven´t talked about it yet.

I didn´t change my mind. I am still ok with it. I guess it´s just cause i miss him so much. It´s not a bad omen. I know that. He will be ok.

Tonight i am going to the movies with Andi. We are seeing "The guardian" with Kostner and Kutcher. Kutcher i am looking forward to but Kostner, Oh oh oh. Well it will be a nice evening. He called me asking if it was ok if a friend joins us, one i don´t know yet. UUUHHH. I am looking forward meeting one of his friends. I have to behave lol. It´s all good. I am happy and proud he trusts me that much.

Julia is getting her new bed this afternoon and is so excited. It´s the one she chose. So i gotta go and clean up a bit, sighhh.

You all have a wonderful weekend.

Everything will be fine

Angie