live mighty....

time : 9:40 pm
wearing : black pants and beige top
missing : Brian
listening to : Jason Mraz ...
drinking : Baccardi breezer
talking online to : Mick ;)
last talked on phone to: Silke
last laughed with : Marianne, she cracks me up really!
today at lunch i cooked : noodles with tuna
cried last : a few minutes ago.... feeling the pain of brian not talking to me
i smell like : sun, moon, stars from Lagerfeld
tonight i will : fall asleep with the voice of Jason Mraz
i am looking forward to: Sabine coming back from Italy
tomorrow i have to : go buy tampons lol
i wanna: drink a glas of wine on the balcony with Andi! i miss him!!
i last cuddled with : Julia.......i love her so much!

Happy birthday!

Happy birthday to my dear friend Sabine!

she has her birthday tomorrow and hey......lets get rotten drunk ( since Afschin deserted me! how can he not come see me and rather work? lol ) somehow i feel like doing that lol.

its 38 yay!!!

love and i am proud of you!

just because he doesnt love u the way u want him to... doesnt mean he doesnt love u at all....right?

Brian....... there is so much inside of me that wants to come out but i dont know if i can find the right words.
i guess life just played us a prank. it was going too well. i had a slap in my face and brian too.
now i end up here caring but getting nothing back.
i reached out to him yesterday- and i really thought a lot about asking him- and he promised he would call at night.
someway deep inside i had the feeling he wouldnt.
but what came then was a surprise.
he messaged me in the afternoon asking about my flirt with cameron.
and why he should call.
cause of ME brian!!!
i was confused... why that sudden emotions? i felt he was looking for an excuse to not talk to me.
he could have said no. i would have accepted it too.
he thought all the new added girls on his list are bothering me.
didnt he see my growing friends list?
i always trusted him. why this behavour now?
he told me he deleted them all.... i never asked him to do that.

i am confused and dont know what i should think.
i just wanted to talk to him about something very important to me.
i asked him if he could just be there for me that once.
i know he is having a hard time.
i am worried that he is heading towards a burnout.
i try my best to be what he needs. but does he need me?

i flirt ..yeah. but not to hurt him. it never bothered him before. did i cross a line?

tagged.....oh i forgot....

i came across my tagged account... oh man i forgot lol

so many nice messages in my inbox.... make me laugh so hard each time i read them...

Hello How are you today,
I hope all is well with you .I am sorry to worry you with my Proposal for a relationship with you, but I know that you will grant my request in good faith and understanding,
My name is Ebony B , I just went Through your profile at I have no options than letting you Know that I am interested in having a relationship with you,
I will also like to Know you the more,
you can add me in ur yahoo or msn so dat we can chat online nd to see our self on cam so that I can send you more details about my self Including my picture. I believe we can move from here.
But bear in mind that Love has no colors barrier, no educational back ground barrier, no socio-economic Barrier, religious, language, nationality or distance barrier, the only important Thing there is love. I am waiting to see u online for u to add me with my email address above. Yours Sincerely ..... Ebony

m ,,,so amazed ,,,i didnt no angels still live on earth..until i saw ur pics and profile ,,,ur wonderfullly looking ,,,,u look so gentle ,,and nice ,,,i guess ur a person of gud entity and character,,,and i do guess u willl be a person wit gud character and self respect ,,,how i wish it will be posible i get to chat wit u on msn or yahooo u have one???i no u do ,,,,pls do send ur chat ID ...lets get to talk ....lots of respect and kisses... walter

oh i feel so loved and wanted.... i am the best! sighhhh
gotta rush back to my the greatest most beautiful one lol he he

full moon on saturday....

there was a full moon on saturday.... and a moon darkness too.
sabine messaged me and so i went out on my balcony to watch it.
i messaged some people too and got settled outside wrapped in my blanket and listening to music on my mp3.

looking at the moon and hearing certain music got me in a romantic mood.
i heard Chaka sing and i thought of Marcus who i know now likes her too.
hearing Sasha sing made me miss........ yeah brian.
i messaged him too. wondering if he was looking at the same .
but as usual silence from him.
its getting to be really hard for me.
he asked me to hold on and i promised i would.
so i am holding on........


oh man.... what a terrible afternoon.... cant even start to describe what pissed me off more.... i wont even bother u with all the details... but i survived it.....yay for me

i did send a message to brian that i could really need him right then.... :(

still alive ;)

hey ya all....yeah i am still alive!!!
i got the messages and mails asking where the heck i am :P
i am hereeeeeeeeeee!!! he he
so many things happened and i thought about coming on and writing but then i just couldnt be bothered... so i hope u all will forgive me!
but as always i am so happy to still have so many faithful readers that miss me when i dont blog regularly!