Bombo beach...

Bombo beach. Those names are so funny. Like Wollongong. We laughed so much so many times about those names on the australian map. Sorry aussies, but they are ! Forgive us.

Sunny sunday afternoon...

I feel relaxed. i spent my entire afternoon with my best friend.
Since it was such a nice sunny day we decided to take a walk. He dragged me through mud and forest but we had a fun time. He always knows how to make me laugh. We saw some places to go have a picnic in the summertime. And we ended up in a cafe having a "Eiskaffee". Yummy! We almost spent 1 hour sitting outside in the sun talking.

On our way home we stopped at a nearby garden/floristic store. They have beautiful theme gardens. The rose garden. The english garden. Really fantastic to look at. We wandered through those and talked about what we would get if we got a house. ( Eisbär ! Eisbär !) HI HI HI

One downer were my tearing eyes though. Think i am allergic against something. Sun? Wind? Grrrr. Eyes still burn. but i could say i cried cause he had to go home. lol. He didnt buy it though. Wonder why? lol

Everything will be fine



wow. one of bruces mates has one australians show " the biggest loser".
200.000 australian dollars. damned. CONGRATULATIONS.
i never knew about this show till scott told me today. what in the world brings u into this show? he has a family and a business at home. he lost 51.3 kilos. thats a huge achievement. yay to ya adro.

go check it out


sunrise... taken by scott early morning. forgot where he took it. i´ll ask him again.


weekend is almost here. yaaaayyyyyy. am so tired lately ! dont know where that comes from. gotta get my blood checked again. its raining. but we had a lil sun.

we are all doing fine. my flowers are blooming. and its getting warmer. got a few messages from sami. i know scott wont like reading this. but i answered the phone the other day and it was him. i see him as a friend. scott has his reason and i know he is right. i am in the middle of it :(

sami understood that i had to be quiet for a bit. it was unfair for me to pull him into this. but it was not correct how he treated me. anyways.
gotta go

everything will be fine



hmmm. My man hates arguements. He avoids them whenever he can. Lately we have a lot em. And not even with big issues. Small things set us off. Or most of the time me i guess.
We put so much meaning in every word that it became very difficult for us. Like we said b4, this has gotten serious and we expect more. Feelings have deepend.

yesterday we chatted a bit. He blogged and at first i was a lil upset what he typed, but when i read on i understood. He helped me understand. We pmd and in the end it went bad, not from his side, no. From mine. He said a few things, which were on his mind. His feelings and i got upset. Yup. Not at him !! At myself. And i made a mistake. I left...

I left and didnt answer his messages. I ignored him and i feel bad about it. I shouldnt have done that !! It was a mistake. I should have told him that it was not him that i am upset at. It was myself. I was too busy thinking about his words. Damn was i a a bad gf! shit.

I woke up this morning and my first thought was " Scott, damn i forgot!"
U have to know, we dont go to sleep or wake up without saying goodnight or goodmorning. And i didnt say goodnight. I felt so bad. I knew i had hurt him bigtime now.
I smsd him and i got no reply. He had his phone off and shit i thought, now u have done it. He is totally upset with you. And he had every right to be !

I tried not to panic and just waited. I know my man. There had to be a reason why he wouldnt answer. And later on he did answer. His battery went dead, he was in a pub and on his way home. It was a bit akward between us first but we talked it out.
I made a mistake and i apologised. What seemed to be new to him. In his former relationships he always seemed to take the blame for everything. Hey, there is actually a woman in his life that says sorry that she fucked up and doesnt blame him.

We talked it out. And this was a major one. We will work this out too. We were joking around in the end. It´s all good.

Funny thing, we dont need to worry about ppl wanting to break us up. No Karen and her gang or any other person managed till now to do that. Lol. But the time difference and the phone is a threat. Who would have guessed huh. But we will overcome that too cause guess what...we talk with each other. And even though i knew he was mad at me i knew he wouldnt go out and do something stupid.

I love you...truly, madly, deeply!

Everything will be fine


Beautiful Australia...

Scott is sharing his beautiful country in nice pics with me. So i want to share them with you. This is Kiama. A destination Scott has to drive to often. Enjoy !


Time: 3:07 pm
Wearing: too much clothes, SUNNNNNNNN
Drinking: water
Lunch: we had some pizza, yup i was too lazy to cook
Last cried: yesterday, was pissed at myself
Last talked on phone to: Scott
song i last heard: right here waiting from Richard marx
I miss: my man sigh
today i have to: iron clothes and i hate it!
Smiled last when: Julia made me laugh
Book i read: Charlotte Link
I feel: tired, exhausted, sad, lonely without scott

this is so hard

Hey Guys, Scotty here. Sorry I haven't been here lately. Have been pretty busy with work, and moving house....and trying to keep the peace with Ange. She really has been givin me a run for my money. Ange mentioned that things between us were getting a lil more challenging. We expect more from each other and I swear she is testing me to see how much of her crap I will actually put up with before I pop. And this time diff is a total pain in the arse too. I am awake...Ange is sleepin. Ange is awake....I am sleepin. there is only a small margin of wake time between us that we can actually share. Unless of course I am o night shift, then Ange is over the moon cause she can get to talk to me more.

We have also discovered that sms texting is really startin to give us the irrits too. It is too easy to read into the messages the wrong way, and not how it was actually intended to be read. We had a doozy the other day where even I argued without backing down. Totally against my better morals, but I had to set the record straight. But after some time and effort, I finally managed to get Ange to see it the other way.... Phew...Almost didn't make it.

Tell ya what but. She has brought out a side of me that I don't normally like to share very often....and that's my romantic side. I kinda feel.... like a wuss when I say things romantic like. I call her Angel all the time. I try to vary the names I call her as often as possible. Just to see how many I can come up with. But when I started with the real crummy ones and the ones that are not romantic at all, I had to stop. Butternut Pumpkin just doesnt quite cut it with the shnookums and sugar plum.

I wish I was able to type how I am feeling about this whole relationship and what it has done for me. Ange has given me more than another chance. She has given me an opportunity to clean my act up and actually do something right for a change. An opportunity to actually prove to myself that I can actually be a nice guy. Not some typical bloke who doesnt give a shit about anyone but himself.

I'm Pming with Angie now as I am trying to do this blog. I have this ring on my thumb that was given to me 6 years ago by a girl I briefly went out with. We lasted about two months and realised we were much better off as friends and have remained friends ever since. Although she hasn't exactly said so... I think it bothers Ange a lil. but to me now it is just a ring... I have worn it for so long it has lost its original meaning and now holds a different type of sentimental value.

There is so much more I guess I can blog, but I have Ange patiently waiting for me..... Again!! So I guess I better go and keep the lil lady happy and keep her from waiting any longer. Well I better go. See you all again soon. Hooroo... Madness ( Scotty )

Time, time, time...

Time...has become so important to Scott and me. When to find time for each other ? There is the time difference, work, social events, friends who are visiting, sleep... So many things that keep us from being together.

I am talking to scott as i am typing this. And we both agree. Things are getting harder cause we expect more of each other. We dont just have a fling, its a serious relationship. And something that bothers Scott a little more than me, ppl are not taking us serious. Well a lot on my side arent. We dont have an internet relationship. We dont use the internet at all. Well, we write mails once in a while and there is my blog here. yeah. But we dont chat. Maybe we should use that, but we showed them all how it can be done.

There are times when your heart hurts so much missing your partner, i admit there are times when i cry, missing him. Its not just that u wanna have just plain sex. it´s more, u crave for a hug, a touch, just to look into each others eyes. Nothing more. Waking up and seeing your loved one. Everydaything for so many lovers but we miss that.

We are made for each other. As cheesy as it sounds but we feel that way. We survived so much.
We had so conquer so many problems. Right in the beginning there was Karen. But behind her back he started talking to me again. He knew what he has done and he wanted to be happy again. It took me a while to trust him again, but he was there and showed me how serious he was. I gave him a hard time but he stood strong and i finally took him back. I forgave him.
I understood what has happend, I knew from the beginning that it wasnt him, that it was her who was behind all this. But enough of that. He suffered enough being with Karen and he deserved to be happy again. We dont wanna give her any more attention.

Too bad i didnt get to read any of the "nice tags" they left for me. My friends are the best. Thanks to PJ and to Sabine !! Love u both.

There is so much to say but it seems it comes out confusing. So many thoughts go through my head. So much going on. But one thing is for sure. It is gettin harder cause our relationship is deeper now. We expect more from each other.

Everything will be fine




IT´S A BOY !!!!

Congratulations to Louise and Bruce. Louise gave birth to a baby boy ystd.
His name is CHASE ANTHONY. Good job Louise !

All our best wishes go out to u both, ah, u three !

Snow snow go away...

Dear winter, WE HAD ENOUGH!

We want SUN and FLOWERS!

See u again in december!!!




That blog earlier, about the abuse in a relationship was really NOT about scott and me!
Thanks for your concern ppl but everything is ok between us. He would never dare to do anything like that to me. And i have his brother Bruce (who is a cop) on my side.
Want an example?

Yesterday Scott stayed at bruces, they sat on the sofa watching tv.
After a message of scott i messaged bruce to pinch scott who was sitting right beside him and
say it is from me!!! YEah. That was so funny. He did it and i got the fast repsonse from Scott. OUch. Yup. Be careful. Dont mess with me. lol. just kidding.

Scott wants me to say this, i also let him hang one night when i was out and i was too drunk
to reply and he messaged me over and over. He thought i did that as a revenge. But no. it was
by accident, but he got some of his own medicine. Sorry baby!


My man hates them. Really hates them. He avoids them as good as he can and that fast too. Well, and there is me. Uh huh. I dont avoid them, sometimes i create them. Yup i admit it i am a handfull. But he loves me anyways.
And ystd it happend again, i misread a line of his and got pissed. It´s the old time issue again. He just wouldnt understand what i wanted to tell him.
We have a big timedifference. I sleep, he has free. He works, i have time. He comes home and wants his peace and there i am wanting to talk to him. It sucks bigtime.

Am i asking for too much? I dont want material things, i want time. Just his time. And lately i get more and more frustrated. And dont get me wrong! So does he. He is as frustrated as i am.
I thought he doesnt understand what i am trying to tell him. He got really upset and i decided to shut up.

Shutting up. Not rocking the boat. Why not be a nice silent girlfriend who doesnt say anything negative or complains. A never complaining gf, i can just hear scott yell yuhuuu. Nah, thats just not me. I can avoid things or conversations, hey its easy being apart. But its just not me. I talk when i have to say something and i do admit it when i was wrong. But i am not the silent, yes honey, of course honey, u are the best honey type. NOOOO!!!

So we will argue again, from time from time. But damn we missed the makeup sex. Shit.
The good thing is, we both know each other and calm down. He is handling me very well.
we dont go to sleep mad at the other person. We talk it all out.

He just needs to understand, there is no competition here. Nobody stands a chance. There is only him in my life. Although i am flirting and going out with andi. but i will be more considerate and tone that down. Its true. i wouldnt like him going out with girl all the time. Yeah u are right baby! i understood what u said.

ah i am tired. so much to say and it comes out confusing.

Everything will be fine



Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won!

Thats from James Blunts song "Goodbye my lover".

How much shit do u take? Nothing i´d say. i´ll give it right back to you.
But how much do u take from a person u deeply love?

Too much! Sad to say but it´s true. How many women believe their guys when they swear to god once again they´ll never lay a hand on them again.

I had a friend, i´ve lost contact with her, who got beaten and verbally abused by her hubby.
I never understood it. For example, the three of us were in a car going down the highway and they would start fighting. Me in the back and they would go at it, really bad.
He´d yell: I´m gonna crash and kill us all!! And i´ll be like, EXCUSE ME!!! I am here too and i don´t wanna die cause of u idiot.
So many incidents and i was right in the middle of it.
Strangely i just had to say his name a few times and he would stop. He had this strange respect for me. I never understood why.
Many years i tried to talk her into leaving him. She never would, i never understood her. But in the end i know she had to make the decision herself, see that it has to stop.

She once told me, I rather have him hit me than abuse me verbally. Bruises go away but the words stay in my head. I was stunned. She was a very pretty girl with bad childhood. Men just always abused her. I always told myself i would never let anyone do this to me.

15 years later i still see it that way. A lot of things happend to me but i always walked away from whole. I never took any shit. And gladly i never had to.

For all those who are guessing now that i write this cause of Scott. U are wrong. He has done nothing like this, and he never will.
We have a hard time being apart. And he has hurt me with his behaviour. But he loves me deeply and it´s something i can live with. He didn´t do anything badly. No worries. If i can live with it you all can too!!

It´s the time issue. How much time are u willing to give? do u break a promise u made?
Let your girl wait and forget about her while u are gettin wasted with your mates. Giving your girl the cold shoulder. I gotta go.

Everything will be fine


goodbye my lover

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.

So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.

You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.

I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend,
u have been the one,
u have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on,
remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry,
I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,

Goodbye my lover
.Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

And I love you, I swear that's true.I cannot live without you.

it was a tanline...

ok, Sabine forces me to blog this!!!!

IT was a TANLINE!!!



Just yesterday afternoon sabine and me sat outside in the sun trying to get a tan after a long winter! And NO sabine, that was not a tanline !!!!! LOL.
We let the sun shine onto our faces and other parts i dont wanna specially mention.
We listend to some nice relaxing music and chilled.
And today ...
today its SNOWING!!!!!
Yup, it´s snowing.
WE WANT OUR SUN BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yahoo messenger

Today i thought i log on to my yahoo messenger, i havent in like 3 years. Well, lots of offlines!!! wow. many ppl missing me it seems. I got to talk to rus. That was very nice. I remember talking to him quite a bit, he was always a polite, charming man. He lives in London now, married. Ya the good go fast. lol.
The messenger pissed me off. It´s new and i just tried to get into chat. But it was buggin me and i took it as a sign to log off. I left a few offlines for friends and left. Enough!!

Visited a friends blog. Hmmm if he still remembers me?
go check it out. He is awesome.

Another sunday is ending and i am tired. I see ya all soon

Everything will be ok