almost here ...

Did I hear you right?
Cause I thought you said
Let's think it over
You have been my life
And I never planned
Growing old without you

Shadows bleeding through the light
Where the love once shined so bright
Came without a reason
Don't let go on us tonight
Love's not always black and white
Haven't I always loved you?

But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
´cause your only almost here

I would change the world
If I had a chance
Oh won't you let me
Treat me like a child
Throw your arms around me
Oh please protect me

Bruised and battered by your words
Days are shattered, how it hurts
Oh, haven't I always loved you?

But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause your only almost here

But when I need you
you're almost here
Well I never knew how far behind I'd left you
And when I hold you
You're almost here
Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted
And now I'm with you
I'm close to tears
Cause I know I'm almost here ...

A wonderful song sung by Delta Goodrem and Brian McFadden... Almost here... nothing more to say...

Everything will be fine



time ... 2:30 pm
wearing ... black pants and a blue t-shirt
listening to ... Brad Paisley " She is everything to me "
cried last ... a half hour ago
talked last to ... julia
drinking ... warm tea
eating ... an orange
today i have to ... iron clothes, watch popstars finale, see sabine and silke, cry some more
i miss ... you all know that answer huh
tomorrow ... bake a cake, work a bit, TGIF, see maybe sylvia ?

Hey there ...

Hey everyone...sorry i haven´t been on that much lately... life is keeping me busy...but you all know what i am talking about huh... days go by so fast... julias bday has passed...she is becoming a wonderful young lady... but hard to handle sometimes... puberty sigh... i have to learn many things too... how to treat her and not always to jump at her, reminding myself that her hormons are at fault... grrrrr... today is thursday... weekend is here...thank god... its getting cold... just smsd scott but i guess he fell asleep infront of the idiot box... he had night shifts all week and it was too hot to sleep during the day... poor guy... i had a strange dream last night... Jaiveer tried to call me... i answered the phone but couldnt understand what he was saying... then there was scott... he ripped my pics up saying he doesnt need them anymore... he doesnt wanna kiss me anymore... he stopped doing that a long time ago... yelling at me to stop asking him stupid questions he doesnt wanna answer... what a stupid dream... sighhh... yesterday i spent the whole afternoon in a workshop sitting beside our major... oh man... that irritated me... i dont like that man... but i get good in faking laughs when he makes stupid jokes ... i am not a good politician... too sensitive i guess... cant lie... julia went iceskating... she has her first big english exam tomorrow... there is a big pressure on her cause she is the only one who spoke english already.. she has since growing up... she speaks english, spanish and german... she is very talented... i am proud of her...her english teacher knows me... tries to talk in english with me everytime he sees me...

Our mood ...

I think i talk in Sabines name when i say this reflects our mood and feelings at the moment...

We hurt but we will survive ...

I try to fly away but it's impossible
And every breath I take gives birth to deeper sighs
And for a moment I am weak
So it's hard for me to speak
Even though we're underneath the same blue sky

If I could paint a picture of this melody
It would be a violin without its strings
And the canvas in my mind
Sings the songs I left behind
Like pretty flowers and a sunset

It's heavy on my heart
I can't make it alone
Heavy on my heart
I can't find my way home
Heavy on my heart
So come and free me
It's so heavy on my heart

I've had my share of pleasure
And I've tasted pain
I never thought that I would touch an angel's wings
There's a journey in my eyes
It's getting hard for me to hide
Like the ocean at the sunrise

Love, can you find me in the darkness, and love,
Don't let me down
There's a journey in my eyes
It's getting hard for me to hide
And I never thought I'd touch an angel's wings

Everything will be fine



Sabine asked me yesterday...

Why do the people you like most always dissapoint you ???

thats why...

Anyone who can touch you
Can hurt you
or heal you
Anyone who can reach you
Can love you or leave you...

that´s why !!!
wearing: black skirt and a oliv sweater
Drinking: should drink coffee...lots of coffee
Feeling: tired, tired oh yeah and tired
Missing: Scott... so much... as always sigh
Last talked on phone to: Scott... he called to wish me a good night
This morning i : ... woke up happy cause of my wonderful dream
I wish : ... i had a cleaning maid when i see the afterparty mess !!!!!!!!
Laughed last with:... Sabine, looking at some funny articles in the newspaper
I am gonna : ... learn the Italian method ;-P
ate last : cake, choclate cake yummy mmmmmhhhh
had to smile when : ... i read chups email. Hey there chup if u read this... nice to hear from you!

I have to answer here to Justin, i think thats your name? To your email.
Sorry i havent been blogging that much. I promise to be on here more often now. But to your request, i talked with scott about it and i know blogging our personal Sms was always very popular. But to impress your girl you should use your own words, thats a message from Scott to you. As much as he likes to help you, but his are just for me. I think if u look inside your heart you will find the right words for your girl. I wont post any right now. My man wrote them just for me. Maybe some time later and maybe some from me to my baby? U can email me and tell me whats up in your relationship. I will answer you, it´s all good.

Julias B-day !!!!

Oh man. My girl had her 11th bday last thursday. She is growing up so fast. She is a young lady now. I am missing my lil girl. sigh...

We had a busy bday. Lots of people came to see her on thursday. But her bday party with her girls was yesterday. She had a sleepover bday party with 7 of her friends and i tell u i am so so so tired and just wanna sleep. Lots of girls in puberty... what did i think of??? i fell asleep around 1 am after that who knows what happend. Well they were all still here when i woke up so it was ok i guess lol. Scott called b4 i fell asleep to say night so i had a nice comforting sleep.
I dreamt of him. He took me in his arms and i felt so secure. I looked at him and was just happy. The odd part was that Sabines friend Thomas appeard in my dream too. He drove by in his truck and i told Scott : look theres thomas! that was it. Strange huh. But all i can remember is this warm and secure feeling being in his arms. Oh i wanna go back to sleep !!!!!!!