Thank u....

so after talking to B on the phone now he calmed me down and i realise even more how important he is to me.... thank u for being who u are !
it´s so hard always be the strong one! i wanna be weak too for a change! thanks for letting me be weak...

this is dedicated to him....

My skin is like a map
Of where my heart has been
And I cant hide the marks
Its not a negative thing

So I let down my guard
Drop my defences down by my clothes
I'm learning to fall
With no safety net
to cushion the blow

I bruise easily
So be gentle when you handle me
Theres a mark you leave
Like a love heart carved on a tree
I bruise easily
Can't scratch the surface
Without moving me underneath
I bruise easily
I bruise easily

I found your fingerprints
On a glass of wine
Do you know you're leaving them
All over this heart of mine too

But if I never take this leap of faith
I'll never know
So im learning to fall
With no safety net to cushion the blow

Anyone who can touch you
Can hurt you or heal you
Anyone who can reach you
Can love you or leave you

So be gentle...I bruise easily!

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Monday morning....

monday morning... oh i should have thought twice about coming on... is there anything good about monday mornings?
so i come on... *** messages me saying sorry about the mail... i think to myself... what mail? i havent been looking at them and i ask her why??... so she comes out its a message from scott... so my day goes sour... i tell her i dont want to read any message from scott since i dont want to hear what he has to say... i think he has enough to do with his new relationship.... WHY ME?

so i sent him private messages? not since we BOTH talked to each other and he said he never turned off his feelings and i will always be a part of his life and he will ask kylie about it... Yeah right....
I TOLD HIM NOOOO.... i wouldnt want an ex gf in my life either.... since then... well a merry xmas and that was it... we always tried to stay friends but it´s not possible with that man... how can one man destroy so much? everybody kept telling me he is not good.... why do we girls never listen?

so i think about it and i look at my phone checking my last outgoing sms and see he was in my last sms list i sent out to all my friends saying thank u for the bday wishes.... oh my... my mistake... i didnt even realise it.... gosh what a drama... i already deleted all his contact infos online and since today his phone number too.... so he got a sms that 20 other people got too... wow he must feel so special!!!! sorry if that caused troubles but that man doesnt mean anything to me anymore!

so i never even read that mail... logged on and instantly deleted it.... i just got over a fight when B saw that "message" from scott to me... which i knew wasnt from scott... i ignored that message and i will ignore anything else that has to to with him... as i told teena... i dont wanna talk about that man.... and this posting will be the last....

i called B asking if he is ok with me talking about my anger about scott and he said yes....
i wish the both of them good luck... and god she will need a lot of it!

i please ask u to not ask me any q about scott or anything else that has remotely to do with him!

i have a man now who stands up for me... who is truthful... not a coward.... stands to his word... makes me laugh and is all the things scott wasnt... I love u B !

i am too much of a lady to really say what i think about him now!
Just so sad he managed to pull everything to the bad side!
Good luck scott and his gf! hope he finds what he needs so much and i wish her lots of strenght and endurance!
End to this story....
glad to go home today falling into the arms of a real man!

Everything will be alright


Bday !!!!

it´s over! the day has passed and i am 35 now ! not feeling any different though lol
my day was good and fun! thanks to all the people who made my day so beautiful!

xavier naidoo...

xavier naidoo... when i hear him sing i get goose bumbs... he touches me with his voice... and he sings smart songs... songs with a message... stands up for the weak ones and doesnt see himself as a star... just gotta love him

sie sieht mich einfach nicht... she just doesnt see me ! a wonderful lovesong...

thats all i have to say to u !!!

oh man...

ever thought u been married for many years... separated and now u are the personal therapist of your ex hubby?
i am finding myself in this position right now... am listening to his love troubles a lot lately... he is, well was dating a 20 year old girl who gave him a run for his money... oh sheezzee are 20 yeare old girls really like that?? bitchy and so jealous... he learned from it and broke up with her... lets see how long it will last... she already called him to want him back... so... i once again have to listen to all of the shit.... i never thought i would sit there and listen to him talk about his love life but life throws strange shit at ya huh....

my bday coming up ! 2 more days to go ! yayy!

have a meeting tonight and tomorrow night... aww tiring.... why am i in politics???

julia is back in school and doesnt like it... lol

she went skiing yesterday and was dead tired

everything will be fine !


Happy valentines day!

Hey ya all !
Happy Valentines day to all my dear ones!
Sorry i haven´t been on blogging... hope u can forgive me?
So much to say but when i finally sit here nothing comes out.
So... the weather is wonderful here... lol
Talked online to aims today... always a pleasure! And thank u for the nice flowers! hugs!!!!
Private life is still the same... single and enjoying it... not hurting B along the way i hope !
I am so sorry darling i really do love u! Brave of you to be in love with me ! wondering all the time why? what is so special about me?

sorry to the ones that sent me mails about that one person... i wont talk about that person here anymore... he is in my past... please respect that!

Valentines day coming up... spending it alone or with friends ! Hey... that´s a wonderful feeling... i know i will never be alone ! I do love em all !

Am talking to Mustafa online as i blog this... he really cracks me up...hello to you mustafa!
Wondering where Jai is... don´t wanna contact him... maybe get him in troubles with his gf!
i just have to be patient i guess! Grrrr....

Gonna go now... take a nice bubble bath and wishing that certain somebody will call me!
maybe if i think about him very much --- thinking thinking thinking--- call me call me call me---miss u miss u miss u--- hope it works...


Everything will be fine

Valentine Comments
Valentine Comments @


changes... u know u need to make them but it´s so hard... the head knows but the heart is working against u... why do the guys always know how to get us? or do they? they say the right words... do the right things and we fall head over heel ! whats left is a confused female trying to do whats best for her ! gosh we should stay away from them... they should come with a warning sign !!!!
i am still struggling to kick a guy out of my heart hurting another one with it who deserves far more than i can give him! damn people must think i am a bitch! but i am being the best as i can be... and as my girl aims said... he can stay away from you ange!.... yeah, he could! sighhhh

why does those things always have to be so difficult?

Carnival is over... we are still alive... alcohol level to zero again lol

we were at the "funken" yesterday... its a ritual over here to send off winter.... will try to find a pic and talk about it more... its funny... so much on my mind and i sit here and its blank...

feel empty... thought my bday is coming up and people seem to be more excited than me?
nahh... i am looking forward to it... its on a wednesday so it wont be a long party!

what else to say!

Valentines day coming up... will be home alone i guess! but chin up!
thank for all the mails and comments! sorry i wont talk answer mails about scott anymore! please understand! i will be happy to comment about any other things u wanna ask me about!

Everything will be fine


Ore Ore !!!!

hey ya all! missed me? sorry i wasn´t blogging... but i did miss u all... and i could see some of u missed me too... thanks for the messages and mails!

so much has been going on... we are in the last days of carneval... tomorrow is the last day and we have lots of partying to do lol... i try to tell u more about our carneval and maybe add some pics !

how u all doing? hope u are all doing ok! i am tired but happy! and hey!!! my bday is coming up!!! yayyyy!!!! so if u wanna send me a gift or bday wish... the 20th is the day! lol

gotta run... miss u all!

everything will be fine!