Plane by Jason Mraz.....

heya all! how u doing? xmas sucessfully behind ya? what presents did you get? are u happy? hope no family feud turned up or any fighting was going on....
now the new year is approaching real fast..... arghhh 2009 .... i am home sick :( havent left the house since friday ..... hope i will feel a bit better to start into the new year ....
and guess what...... i got my jason cd......YAAAAAAAY!!!
and theres a DVD included which i viewed so many times already... ya i am sick what else to do.... but i tell u something... i even love his music more now... he is such a talented musician.... he loves what he is doing and u can feel that.... i fell in love with a bunch of new songs from him... this one is on my player list right now........ plane..... it is the first song on the DVD ... sung live at a concert.... i just sat there and listened.... it was so amazing.... gave me the i wanna share it with u..... my speakers dont work so i hope this is a good version of the song.... if not email me please and i put on another one....... enjoy the incredible MR. Jason Mraz!

Merry xmas!

Merry xmas!
Myspace Glitzer-Grafik

Merry xmas to all my faithful readers!
Have a wonderful time with all ur loved ones!

Everything will be fine!

jason mraz...... winter wonderland

Merry xmas from Jason Mraz !

heya all! how are u guys doing? in xmas stress? ya? here is something that will make u laugh and forget the stress for a bit!

These holiday wishes from jason Mraz are hilarious... i just love this guy!
Have a look.......

Thomas Godoj .... fabulous !!!

heya !!! back...... tired but back and happy... we had a great day in Munich and the concert was fabulous! it was great to see him perform... u could see how happy he is making music ... he talked a bit too much inbetween lol but the concert was wonderful. i´ll blog more about it later... tired and need to sleep!!!!

here a video from yesterday... performing "chasing cars " .... a song that means a lot to him... he had tears in his eyes singing it yesterday... he was so moved by all of us singing with him... it was touching... he is very talented and he deserved to win !

everything was sooooooooo fine!!!
have a great weekend ya all!

Thomas Godoj........ here we comeeeee!!!

so we gave Sabine concert tickets to his concert on her bday .... she was so happy .... she is so looking forward to it and its so cute ... cant u just love her
this thursday we go to munich to see him live ... of course we go to a xmas market first ( and hopefully go easy on gluewein to not be drunk already before the concert lol ) and spend the day in munich before we throw ourselves into the Godoj adventure ;)

i am really looking forward seeing him ... he has a great voice and we will rock the place with him .... and NO!!!! sabine i wont learn all the lyrics on our way to munich in the car NOOO lol he he

Thomas Godoj - Autopilot

Music .........

i´ve been asked in a mail what kind of music i have on my mp3 player.... oh well........ as u all know by now i love music and its a part of my daily life .... i dont know why u want to know pete but i will give u an idea whats bringing me through the day ;)

Jason Mraz - Sleeping to dream

Chaka Khan - Ain´t nobody loves me better
Thomas Godoj - i´m not ok
Sugababes - lost in you
Laith al Deen - bilder von dir
Herbert Grönemeyer - Land unter
Jason Mraz - Live High
Jennifer Lopez - i´m real
Sunrise Avenue - Heal me
Pussycatdolls - How many times

so here we go! enjoy.....thats just a sample
listening to jason right now......... of course ;)

Did i do or say something wrong ?

there´s a certain person in my life who means a lot to me. i got her through a lot the last 1.5 years. always there. i tried my best to be there.
it took a lot out of me. emotionally too. there were many times when i went back home crying.
i was always being the strong one. somebody had to be.
i did it cause i wanted to. i cared. always told her one day u´ll be there for me when i have my breakdown.
but when u cross a line. when u say one word too much... even not being aware of it.
i have honestly no idea whats going on right now. have i said something wrong? did something wrong? or didnt do or say anything wrong ?

honestly i had a lot on my plate lately... an awful lot. i was busy with myself too.
putting that back i called her, i visited her.... felt strange
then a few things happened..... with another couple.... that made me think....
i feel that she feels ashamed .... the way she acts towards me.... hard to discribe :(

those people live next door to me .... she comes to visit them or her... no knock on my door
not even a short ring saying....... hey i have no time but a short hello........... she used to do

today i left.... they were there again.... yeah it hurts ..... i came back home and i cried
i really feel bad about it ... Andi warned be about it .... i sit here with swollen eyes and a headache... and i dont know why i am so emotionally... yeah the way she treats me fucking hurts .... and its not jealousy.... and i dont know what to do... there is the concert we all go to together next week .... i´d wish i could look forward to it .... i will keep silence
smile....yeah i can do that...... smile though i cry inside .... andi told me to talk to her and adress everything ... why me? sick and tired of always being the forward one ....

i am way from being perfect ... i am so full of faults .... i am trying to be the best i can be... for everybody .... but pleasing them i am getting lost along the way....

she hurts me with her behaviour ......

everything will be fine

my fave xmas song this year!!!

so there is one song i play up and down.... and bug julia with it lol
i sing along and that with lots of pleasure.... so i wanna share this song with u all!
sing along with me! ;)

What to give a girl who has everything
All i want for christmas you
Here’s my listI checked it twice
Wasn’t good, wasn’t bad
I was naughty and nice.
Had my eye on you all year long
And now i know for sure
I wouldn’t even have to try you on
No need for gift return.

It’s going to be a cold winter
But i wont need the heat to keep me warm
As long as you wrap yourself around me
On christmas morning
Whether it’s now or later
As long as it’s before you go,
you know My love is always in your favor
And now you know that
All i want for christmas...Is...

Sweet like a candycane
Hanging from the tree
I will stripe you red and green
When you hit me like a sugar rush
No need for the other stuff
This season you’re all that i need.
They say wishing for you
Is like wishing for snow in california
But you know that i can prove them all wrong
Cause my love is true
I simply adore ya.

It´s gonna be a cold winter....

Can’t say that i’ve been good all year
But I've been making resolutions to get you here
And if it means being better than whatever, no sweat
Well I bet my halls that i deck for the cause
And santa claus, he knows what my intentions are
Even dismissing mistle toe
So I get to know ya, first of all
Singing oh my god
You’re the reason that i decorate my yard



thats how i feel right now!!!!!!!!


i actually went into my bathroom and screamed so loud and was good but not enough i guess!!!

dont know how to fix this right now.... figuring that out.... trying to... but i get so much weight being put on by others that i feel i am drowning!

Andi put his shorts on and jumped into the water with me....... holding on to me... keeping my head above water.....

shitty , crappy, sad.... u name it

sorry for not being around.... there is much to blog about but it just wont come out.... sorry
shitty, crappy, sad, annoyed, dissapointed........ so many words to explain how i feel.

but i am functioning. yes i am .. and i guess thats whats keeping me from breaking down.
i have to funtion yes.

dont get me wrong i have many beautiful friends who are there for me.
andi just lifts me up everytime we meet!
thank u for the jason mraz cd!!!!
we did something on saturday i thought we would never do. odd but well ok.
anytime again andi!

talking to another friend now ..... Amy.... all the way in australia... she is such a darling...
glad i got her.... even though she is too damn far away.... she´ll always listen to me ... wish to have her closer ... but at least she is on planet he he
one day aims one day!!!

so to u all.......... i am a survivor and i will survive this too!
this is taking a lot out of me but i will get through it!

i was hoping with Brians help but he is falling down at the moment too. he is on his way back to normal as we speak but i am having a hard time with our situation right now!
i am always trying to make him understand........ does he?
i feel he doesnt care....... at all
but then he messages me drunk.......... seems drunk is the only way he can talk to me lately? should that worry me? or should i see it in the way that... being vulnerable and down he is thinking about me......hmmmm
we both met at the worst time of our lives... we couldnt have know what is coming our way
i need him to heal but he cant be there for me
so i gotta do it without him

brian is it so damn hard to hear my voice on the phone???? is it????

everything will be alright.........hell yeah it will

good night!

hey ya all.... its late saturday night here and its time to go to sleep!
had a busy day. was so crazy that i made an apple pie 2 hours ago.... :P
gonna get my julia and then hit the sack.
she is already calling me!

hope u all have a good weekend!

everything will be fine

TGIF !!!!!!!!!

hello out there.......ya i am still alive!
i know i have been neglecting you and i feel bad about that.
i promise to better myself!

Aims told me to blog so she can read something... well ......hmmm
havent we talked about everything already today? lol
what more to say? hmmm

jason is still present with his music in my daily life.... i start to love his songs... the lyrics...
its friday today.... thank god another week over....
we will have big brunch tomorrow with all our friends.... well the closest ones...
looking forward to that.

i think i am gonna take a long bubble bath tonight and listen to jason.... :P
maybe have a nice conversation with brian?
gives me warm feelings.....

winter is near here.... jaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Danny lol.... sipping on gluhwein as i type lol nah i am kidding but i will drink a few and think of you..... and a schnitzel....or better gulasch? lol
always enjoy our conversations ;)

my fingers are getting cold so i will stop typing and get some warm tea......
i wish u all a wonderful weekend!

everything will be fine

this song is wonderful............ i love u Brian

My Vienna visit in September....

yeah i know i promised to talk about my stay in vienna in september.... so here we go... sorry its that late ! ;)

train ride was relaxing.... up to 7 hours in a train can go very slow... but i had my music and lots to read... somehow being in a train always makes me think about Scott ( he is driving trains in australia ).... my black sheep was waiting at the trainstation with flowers.... smiling a big smile... we went to pick up the concert tickets.... yeah i was a bit upset he hadnt managed to do that before but oh well... he is a bit chaotic at times.... we went to his place and almost got to the concert to late.... arghhh

the concert was so cool.... black sheep and me had loads of fun.... he was very attentive.... i sang along and he didnt even mind lol.... jason mraz rocked the place and i am an absolute fan of his music now... and of him of course

we finished the night with loads of cocktails.... i hadnt eaten all day and so i was drunk pretty fast as u can imagine.... we drank so many different ones that i almost felt sick... we both got home though lol

next day he had to go to an convention but brought me coffee while i was still half asleep.... wow... yeah there are still guys doing that.... nice being woken up like that.... we hurried up to get out and he caught his train in time....

i spent the day with my dear friend Gabi.... love her dearly... her two boys are just adorable and Michael cracks me up anytime i see him... he is such a darling

we met up with black sheep at night and Gabi got to meet him... it was so cute seeing him so shy... altough he kissed me when we met... that surprised me... we were so tired that we fell right into bed

next day i dragged him to a shopping mall... " are u serious angie?"... yup lol... and we went to Ikea.... he spent more money there than me... go figure lol

he took me out to Burger King.... he is so romantic isnt he sighhh..... gosh what more can i want ??? lol he he

we had a fun day but spending money is exhausting too.... :P

saturday we decided to go see the Van gogh exhibition.... it took us 3 tries till we finally decided that the row wasnt that long anymore.... but we did spend a lot of time in coffee houses that afternoon.... he is a charming company... his eyes are warm but..... he is a charming liar also lol

sorry but u know its true....

the exhibition was so wonderful.... the only negative were all the people.... and there were many....

he took me out to dinner and we had a fun last night before i had to go back home....

that night Brian called me at 4:30 am.... he was drunk and scared .... i got up and talked to him for a bit.... wonder why he did.... i asked him if he was ok and he said " that depends on.... " hmmm

i woke up every day at 6 am to sneak out to the toilet and to call julia...she insisted on that call before she had to go to school.... he just smiled at me and calling me a " heroe of every day life"

it was a wonderful time with black sheep... he treated me like a princess and i was feeling safe.

everything was soooooooooo fine



Dont make someone a priority
who only makes you an option!!!!

Thank you Aims.... i will try to remember that! hugs

ok ok ok Aims!!!!

yeah i got ya Aims!!!
i am sorry.......i was away but i thought about u... we had a short talk a few weeks back didnt we?
that was u right? :P
i was away and life has me back.... sigh......

i wish to go back......I WANNA GO BAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!

gosh even my friends called me to check if i had boarded the train... they were afraid i would stay even longer.... oh common ( yeah i would have la la la la la)

i am stuck in one place for too long now. and there is so much goin on in my life ... arghhhh
u know the feeling when u just wanna go to sleep??
i have with so much shit to deal and sometimes i make my life harder... my fault yeah i know... but i am stubborn at times.

there is a guy who likes me that i keep at a distance and the guy i fell for is keeping me at a distance... talking about complicated....arghhhhh

but one thing i really appreciate is my net of friends... who catch me if i fall and i love them all dearly.... cant buy that with any money!!!!

ok ok......i promise to be back more often!

everything will be fine


P.S : to PJ..........didnt see ur sms till now pj! message me with news! where are u?

i am back !!!

heya all!
missed me huh huh huh???
i am back and the concert was awesome.
if he is ever near u go see jason mraz.
my black sheep doctor was charming and sweet.
spoiled me. thank u for all...mwah
i´ll be back here soon to blog some more.

miss u aims!!!!!!!!

glad its saturday......

glad its saturday and that Sabine is coming back... did miss her heaps.
we have one more surprise for her.
we sent a birthdaycard to Thomas Godoj to sign for her.
it didnt come back in time but now its here.
she will drop dead when shes it lol.
he wrote some lines in it and i think its a wonderful surprise.
since i was not feeling well and i let others plan details... i let Sabine K let her see it.
who cares who put all together.
i just couldnt be bothered lately to do certain things.
and i know she doesnt mind.
i am going through a rough time but i know i have a safety net here.
been just so bothered with another certain person. arghh. so self centered.

and here also a big shout out to Aims!
she is having a hard time with a certain person who i think is the lowest.
i personally never experienced something like that.
Aims i am on ur side! u know that. i will get into that more later on.

glad u are back!!!

so yeah.......

so yeah......... so i put my feelings out there and i took the chance of getting hurt.
its hard to feel vulnerable.
but it u dont take a chance then nothing will happen.
i got all ur mails and messages on my last entry.
to answer a few q.....
No i didnt blog abot scott cause i still love him. a conversation came up and of course i had to think about scott. he is a part of my past. a part i dont want to miss. but a part thats over and done.
and NO i havent talked to scott. and i wont. If he comes to my blog? i honestly dont know. and i dont think so. and yeah i would still talk about the same things knowing he was here.
but....... scott is not a matter of heart for me anymore.

i thought a while of putting my feelings for brian out here. I knew it could go sour. but hey ... u only live once right? so u all know who i love and how he looks like... yeah he is damn sexy ( @sandy) but hands off lol

to ur other questions........ i dont know what the future brings ... taking one step at a time.
and yeah... it would break my heart if brian would fall in love with somebody else.
but if u take a break...... u have to trust.
and if he would fall in love with another woman... could i really hinder that?
he knows what i am about and he knows what i feel.

all u faithful readers know that i put my heart out there at times. and i appreciate all ur love coming my way. but...... never let the fear of getting hurt keeping u from playing the game... did i quote that right? lol

and yeah.......i got a response from Brian..... it was a positive one but i wanna keep it to myself.

i will make sure that i let him know all ur good wishes and thoughts.

and the ones who thought they should leave a negative comment to my entry...... "Fuck u" and u know who u are sister !!!!

a kiss for brian

the man i want to spend the rest of my life with......

so here we go. this is the man i wanna spend the rest of my life with. i would if we could. but many things are in our way. he swept me away and i began to love him. he just stepped in my life when i wasnt looking for love. isn´t that the best way to find love? don´t look for it.

now here i am with all my feelings. and i try to sort them out. i look at him and i see so much that i look for in a man. and i dont talk about look. he is very sexy in my eyes. but there is more i see in him.

just the way he made me laugh. very sexy. the way he made me feel. very loved. the way he treats and talks about his family. very manly and wonderful. a man u could imagine having kids with. waking up beside him. his honesty surprised me. his voice gives me a certain feeling. so warm. so full of love.

and then..... and then things happend in our lives. things we couldnt control. something happend to me and i am still so sorry he had to deal with that.i can still feel his pain when we talk about it on a rare occasion. and i dont know if we can overcome that. no let me correct that. i DO know we will overcome that. if i am ready to move on and dont let it ruin my life i think he can do that too. but i understand when he says he felt so helpless and wanted to beat him up. i am glad he wasnt there. i couldnt have faced him. couldnt stand being touched.

but now...... i feel he is the only one who can heal me...

This is something I can’t hide. Can’t throw it away. This is something I can’t fake.

They know you’re away. They know how to break me.They know you’re far away ....

then....... something happend in his life too. his niece got very sick. and loves her so much. she will be ok but i know its hard to see a child suffer. it almost broke his heart and he was there for her day and night. spending nights beside her bed in the hospital. how can u not love him? its a side of him i love. u feel protected. loved. a family man.

thats where the silence began. and i couldnt understand why. he gets silent when he is stressed. he explained that to me. but it was hard. i know he has a stressful job. but how can u not just say "HI" ? he said he is not happy with how he handles the situation and that he is sorry.

he asked me to be there and not give up. he wants to handle it in his speed to come back to himself. i agreed. he said not to take it personally when he behaves like a jerk. doesn´t he know everything he does and and says affects me? cam was a flirt but he used it to be mad at me? not to talk to me........ i guess that was the jerk?

after all i made a decision to hang in there. i know this is mad. there is a guy who is willing to marry me tomorrow ( yeah i know Aims!!! lol hey i see u rolling those eyes :P) and i hang my heart on a guy that has crisis and needs time to get back to himself.

Love’s a lonely road sometimes. I keep moving on...Towards the moment you’ll be mine. A long way to go...To where we belong...We’ll be there before long

but hey......he is worth the wait. i want u to know i dont write this piece about him to push him into anything. just had to air it. yes i am in love and i want u all to know. and if we are meant to be then it will happen. if not then there will be a lucky girl at his side. i am at a point in my life when i can say that.

Could you believe I’m waiting for someone. Could you believe I’m holding the night with my hands. Alone in the night on my own. I feel the pain inside me...Only you can heal me!!

as i wrote this piece i was listen to a song from Sunrise Avenue... " Heal me "... i wanna dedicate this song to a wonderful man whom i wish just the best in life. i am tired and i feel i start to sound confusing lol. i just wrote everything that came out. sorry if it sounds confusing. just wanted to tell u about a great guy.

everything will be fine.... i just know

P.S... here a huge thank you to Mr. HP India... u know who u are ;) ty for being there and listening. its always so much fun talking to u ! and yeah u are right... gold digger is not a thing for me :P hugs

Scott....and long distance.....

yesterday a guy asked me online if i believe in long distance relationships. hmmm. well.
do i believe in them. i lived in one for many years.
so i told him "NO" :P
and he asked if i wanna give it a chance with him. not to say no to something i dont know.
errr yeah. and what was ur name again?
whats wrong with guys nowadays. u say hello and they instantly ask if u wanna marry them?
i told him politely that i am in love with someone and that 3 are too much in a relationship.
well he asked if we can be friends.... still dont know his name.... but he saw me on fb... oh hell fb again.

but all that made me think of Scott. and that in a nice way. i really do hope he is happy.
if kylie is willing to give him a family, then he found what he was looking for.
Scott is a family man and i think he is doing a good job at that.
so i wish them lots of happy moments and happiness.
i do look back and i feel i was so loved by him.
and it was a great feeling.
we did our best and i smile when i remember those years.
isn´t it funny how u forget the bad times and just remember the good ones?

i wouldnt do long distance again. not that long of a distance.
but i got a lot of nice friends out of it. especially Aims.

everything turned out to be alright for us

Happy Birthday Aims !

Happy Birthday to my girl AIMS !!!

sending lots of love and good wishes ur way!

so she wanted a brown hair, blue eyed surprise. well... i googled that and found........George. lol.....well he is captured and in prison right now as u can see but he will be out in some time and if u want i will pass contacts on? lol yeah? he he

so julia and me googled some more and found......

Josh.......well........maybe he is a candidate? lol
he looks good when wet and has a nice smile....
he could rescue u when u are in need... dont know if he has a bathing short on but well.... let us use our imagination....
drool.... what? bday? who? oh yeah.....errr

so now to the last thing......... since we are not there we cant sing for ya girl!
so we will let Luke do that for us.........

Go Aims it´s ur birthay.....go Aims it´s ur birthday......go partyyyyyy!!!!

live mighty....

time : 9:40 pm
wearing : black pants and beige top
missing : Brian
listening to : Jason Mraz ...
drinking : Baccardi breezer
talking online to : Mick ;)
last talked on phone to: Silke
last laughed with : Marianne, she cracks me up really!
today at lunch i cooked : noodles with tuna
cried last : a few minutes ago.... feeling the pain of brian not talking to me
i smell like : sun, moon, stars from Lagerfeld
tonight i will : fall asleep with the voice of Jason Mraz
i am looking forward to: Sabine coming back from Italy
tomorrow i have to : go buy tampons lol
i wanna: drink a glas of wine on the balcony with Andi! i miss him!!
i last cuddled with : Julia.......i love her so much!

Happy birthday!

Happy birthday to my dear friend Sabine!

she has her birthday tomorrow and hey......lets get rotten drunk ( since Afschin deserted me! how can he not come see me and rather work? lol ) somehow i feel like doing that lol.

its 38 yay!!!

love and i am proud of you!

just because he doesnt love u the way u want him to... doesnt mean he doesnt love u at all....right?

Brian....... there is so much inside of me that wants to come out but i dont know if i can find the right words.
i guess life just played us a prank. it was going too well. i had a slap in my face and brian too.
now i end up here caring but getting nothing back.
i reached out to him yesterday- and i really thought a lot about asking him- and he promised he would call at night.
someway deep inside i had the feeling he wouldnt.
but what came then was a surprise.
he messaged me in the afternoon asking about my flirt with cameron.
and why he should call.
cause of ME brian!!!
i was confused... why that sudden emotions? i felt he was looking for an excuse to not talk to me.
he could have said no. i would have accepted it too.
he thought all the new added girls on his list are bothering me.
didnt he see my growing friends list?
i always trusted him. why this behavour now?
he told me he deleted them all.... i never asked him to do that.

i am confused and dont know what i should think.
i just wanted to talk to him about something very important to me.
i asked him if he could just be there for me that once.
i know he is having a hard time.
i am worried that he is heading towards a burnout.
i try my best to be what he needs. but does he need me?

i flirt ..yeah. but not to hurt him. it never bothered him before. did i cross a line?

tagged.....oh i forgot....

i came across my tagged account... oh man i forgot lol

so many nice messages in my inbox.... make me laugh so hard each time i read them...

Hello How are you today,
I hope all is well with you .I am sorry to worry you with my Proposal for a relationship with you, but I know that you will grant my request in good faith and understanding,
My name is Ebony B , I just went Through your profile at I have no options than letting you Know that I am interested in having a relationship with you,
I will also like to Know you the more,
you can add me in ur yahoo or msn so dat we can chat online nd to see our self on cam so that I can send you more details about my self Including my picture. I believe we can move from here.
But bear in mind that Love has no colors barrier, no educational back ground barrier, no socio-economic Barrier, religious, language, nationality or distance barrier, the only important Thing there is love. I am waiting to see u online for u to add me with my email address above. Yours Sincerely ..... Ebony

m ,,,so amazed ,,,i didnt no angels still live on earth..until i saw ur pics and profile ,,,ur wonderfullly looking ,,,,u look so gentle ,,and nice ,,,i guess ur a person of gud entity and character,,,and i do guess u willl be a person wit gud character and self respect ,,,how i wish it will be posible i get to chat wit u on msn or yahooo u have one???i no u do ,,,,pls do send ur chat ID ...lets get to talk ....lots of respect and kisses... walter

oh i feel so loved and wanted.... i am the best! sighhhh
gotta rush back to my the greatest most beautiful one lol he he

full moon on saturday....

there was a full moon on saturday.... and a moon darkness too.
sabine messaged me and so i went out on my balcony to watch it.
i messaged some people too and got settled outside wrapped in my blanket and listening to music on my mp3.

looking at the moon and hearing certain music got me in a romantic mood.
i heard Chaka sing and i thought of Marcus who i know now likes her too.
hearing Sasha sing made me miss........ yeah brian.
i messaged him too. wondering if he was looking at the same .
but as usual silence from him.
its getting to be really hard for me.
he asked me to hold on and i promised i would.
so i am holding on........


oh man.... what a terrible afternoon.... cant even start to describe what pissed me off more.... i wont even bother u with all the details... but i survived it.....yay for me

i did send a message to brian that i could really need him right then.... :(

still alive ;)

hey ya all....yeah i am still alive!!!
i got the messages and mails asking where the heck i am :P
i am hereeeeeeeeeee!!! he he
so many things happened and i thought about coming on and writing but then i just couldnt be bothered... so i hope u all will forgive me!
but as always i am so happy to still have so many faithful readers that miss me when i dont blog regularly!

addicted to jason mraz songs.....

finally i have to admit........ i am addicted to the songs of jason mraz right now... playing them up and down on my mp3... and yeah i think i am developing a hearing problem caused by too much mp3 listening arghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!
but i love those the lyrics ! he is a great entertainer.......and....

my doctor... my fabulous funny black sheep.... takes me to a concert of jason in september ! ( actually smiling a huuuuuuuuge smile !!!)


so i got a visit from an old friend....jai :-)

we met to spend the day together in Lindau ( Germany ). i wished he could have stayed for a few days but he couldnt .....but i got the promise out of him that next time he would.

so julia and me took the train to meet him. it was like we never said goodbye. we didnt talk lots about the negative things that happend.... but we did talk a lot about the positive memories we had. its funny how someone remembers something about u or something that u said and u dont have any clue. i instantly felt close to him again.

he had a long and exciting journey in the last 4 years. i am sure it wont be long till we see each other again!

we had a very pleasant time in a park by the lake. wont go into details. but i finally got my massage..arghhhh neck and face and ooooooooh so nice!

glad u are back in my life! ;-)

Hello ;-)

now i formally have to say Hello to all of you! sorry i have been away for a bit but i hope i didnt lose all of my faithful readers!
i can see Aims was here! MISS U TOO !!!!!!
actually had a nice but short conversation with aims 2 days ago. ya i promise to stay sane and not go nutty on you! i think that will be an easy task for me to do lol he he
but u promise to stay away from these nuts over there! no going down on their level!!!
well u know what i mean.
sometimes friends just turn out to be something totally else as u hoped them to be. i made that experience too....sadly but true. u trust someone and they stab u in the back. it will happen and u cant do anything to prevent that. if u lay ur heart out to someone u always have to be prepared that the person isnt true.
i do have a lot of friends... but just a few know all of me.
i had a bike accident last week. we were out on a tour at night and Andi drove into me. it was an accident and it hurt me quite a bit. silke of course instantly started laughing as always...grrrrrr....
i knew he was feeling very lousy and i bit my tongue got on my bike and continued cycling. i was happy i had sunglasses on cause i cried all the way to the little lake. they knew i was hurting and i was being stubborn. Andi couldnt even look into my eyes. i knew he was feeling bad.
i didnt want him to feel more bad and smiled. but damn i was in pain.
i hardly made my way back und for the last part silke went to get the car to bring me home. we stopped at sabines place and he even wanted to help me on my way to the toilet.arghhhh ....didnt sleep too well the next days and was grumpy! sorry to all of ya :)
i gave the responsability of organising silkes bday to sabine. and she did a good job! got through that with medication.
he is such a sweet heart! love him to pieces. and hey ....if u have an issue with me to me and dont bump into me with ur bike ayyyyyyy lol he he

i did send an sms to my dear doctor in vienna who i knew was on duty... i asked for medical attention and he thought i was playing replying 1 day later :(
yeah i was not his fave patient.......he dont love meeeeeeeeeeeee :((
he tried to make it up by wanting to send medication by mail lol......isnt he funny.......i said i´ll survive......... yeah i am a survivor!

everything will be fine........ouch ouch oooooh ouch auaaaaaaaaah


yaaaaaaaaawn........oh sorry..... didnt get too much sleep last night...... but pssssssstttttt dont tell sabine!!!! he he
all i wanted is to talk to him for a minute and well....... well u know.... whenever he says.....can i call u back? i know its gonna be a long looooooooooong night lol
i told him he will hate me when he sees his next phonebill but he says its a good investment! smiling a biiiiiiiiiiiig smile..... well he is a head physician......makes enough money so i guess he will survive it lol
time flies so fast when we talk to each other......nights go by so fast lol
but it never gets boring and i like that
he challenges me and gives me vibes i was missing for so long..........and i dont mean in a sexual way so dont even start lol
its just so refreshing to talk to him and we feel similar in so many ways.....i find it very exciting to have such people in my life.......and it is so nice to see how protective my friends are!!!!

Brian ......
i sat a while by myself and thought about saying hi to him ..... finally i did and it didnt go too well .... i do understand that he is working a lot and that his energy goes towards his family... he did thank me for still being there ...... but its hard when there is nothing coming from the other side ......... its frustrating and a bit humiliating and he doesnt understand .... it has gone bad when he said he will message me when it is all over..... i said dont make promises u cant keep and he was upset then...saying to leave him alone and that he doesnt need any negative things in his life ...... oh well.......... i think i have been more than good to him and patient .... but i will of course accept the way he feels ... when a sms or a short call is too much for him to handle i will accept that ... yeah.......i sit here crying as i write this and it hurts ......... but i have seen another side of him and i´ll be ok ........gotta go cant see screen cause of tears !

oh....... Aims is an aunty! welcome to this world Jackson! congrats to the family blackmore!!

another nightshift???

friday i got the order to sleep instead of keeping my black doctor sheep company on his nightshift.......yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... :P
so could i ignore his sms??? awww common....... his messages are so refreshing... so unique... cant ignore that cant I ? ok.........we ended up talking again.......but hey i went to bed around 3 am.... we didnt talk that long this time... since he has been called to a patient.... my luck lol.... i would be sooooooooo dead today....dont know how he does it.... well he is used to it i guess... so my dear worried ones.....i did get more sleep than last week....ty for ur concern and hey!!!! I WASNT THAT BITCHY !!!!!! lol ur complaints to mr blacksheep doctor!!!

*nasestubs und fellkraul*

wishing u all a wonderful weekend!!!


Brian .....Brian....Brian.... u know how people come into ur life and change things that u thought are working out fine.... that make u see new sides of life.... make u smile ... make u cry.... he has no idea how he has touched me ... it was him who messaged me ... who whirled into my life... his charm .... i wasnt looking for the feelings he brought my way... and now i sit here worrying about him ... he works too much ... and.... new is that his niece is sick and has to be in the hospital ... he loves her dearly .... the last 2 weeks he spent every night with her sitting beside her hospital bed, keeping her company.... HOW CAN U NOT LOVE A GUY LIKE THAT? he makes it fucking hard for me .... only seif knows how many times i sat here crying cause of him ...
Brian....... a guy thats rare in this world!
so tell me readers....what am i supposed to do???

My summer song !!!!!

wanna know what Angie does a lot lately???? he he
its wonderful sunny here....summer has arrived..... so i am in a sunny mood!
i listen to Jason Mraz " I´m yours "..... i even infected my friends with the Summer song virus lol....ya i love u all!
so turn up the volume and dance with me my faithful ones..........


so i feel very tired and out of power lately.... sat here many times and didnt know what to blog... so what is seifs suggestion? ......

leave a message on ur blog angie.....

Angie is temporarly out of service
due to technical issues
sorry for the incovinience
& see u soon

cant u just love him lol........mwaaaaaaaah seif!!!


Friends.....they walk in and out of ur life.... some bring u pain some bring u joy and love .... some play with ur feelings some treasure u .....i am lucky to have very good friends in my life... and i mean on and offline!
i just felt that yesterday.... andi couldnt get a hold of me and got very worried .... he is such a sweatheart .... he is in vienna right now and i am jealous! ya i am!!!!
i know i could never get lost.... Sabine would miss me lol
so its nice to know there is a safety net of friends who care !
whatever u do they are there.

i am also happy i have aims in my life now. she went through so much with a certain person. i wont even begin to tell u cause if i do u wouldnt believe me anyways. i sat there many times with open mouth. i am not used of people doing such things. but what a sad life they must have. always wanting to be center of attention. wo needs those in ur life???

i have to mention seif too... who has been a rock for me... did his best to make me smile.... made me wanting to get back on track.... just has been himself! a friend i dont wanna miss in my life!

and somebody new stepped in.....i wont say his name but i´ll call him Grisham..... like a hurricane that forced his way into my life and turns it upside down a bit.... i am a challenge to him... so i feel about him too...i am always open to make new friends and let new vibes come in.... i´ll just go with the flow and see where it takes me!

friends...... an essential in life ....... i am blessed to have so good ones in mine!
thank u all for being in my life!
i love you!
everything will be fine

what i wanted to say.......

Mein schwarzes Schaf..... freu mich schon.... sehr neugierig.... sehr interessant.... sympathisch... bringst mich zum lachen.... bringst mich zum nachdenken.... freu mich auf dein portofolio.... und... ich will das haus in neuwaldegg grins.....*süssdreinblick*wollekraul*nasestubs*

Aims......he is the center of his own universe..... vain.... oh man i have nothing nice to i´ll shut up....getting so protective at times i know......sorry!!!! dont want people close to me to get hurt! growwwwwwwwwlllllllllll

Joerg........schatzi hoffe die deutschen fliegen.......JAAAAAAAAA sorry!!!

Brian......miss u... hope things are ok with u.... let me know......please

Pj! where the hell are u???? i am fucking worried about u damned! so at least drop a note saying u are still alive!!!!!

Hope the turkey beat germany!

arghhh....... turkeys team is weak.... 2 of the players have red and a few sick.... so now they play with a mixed team with Bplayers......really wish they give the germans a hard time.... but i fear the final will be Germany - Russia.....ya i believe they have a chance to kick spain out.... i´ll probably go and see the game in public viewing tonight.....and if the turkey us god... lol......lots of em living around here!
i am looking forward to see Hatim Altintop... hope i got his name right... a very sympathic player from turkey...

u all have a good one! mwah

my player of the game yesterday!

**Nuno Gomez**

UEFA named schweinsteiger as best player of yesterdays game but for me it was Nuno Gomez!
He caught my attention in another game a few days ago when he sang the portugese hymn with so much passion.So he did again yesterday! and he was so nice to the kids who walked in with the players. he is a guy with heart and it shows! too bad we cant see more of him now!

still in shock!!!!

OMG !!! we relied on the portugese to kick the germans out! but what a game!
when it was 0:2 for the germans sabine and were like no they can turn it around!!!
we believed in the portugese! but were was this oh so good and talented Ronaldo??
the german dominated the game....and for that we give a huge round of respect to Joachim Löw... ya the sexy coach!!! :P
but its hard that the referee didnt see the foul when michael ballack shot the 3rd goal... think it was the third one... he pushed the portugese player out of the way....common!!!!!

over all the germans played excellent and deserved to win! ouch that hurts to say......


My day.......

thursday..... 6 am... alarm clock pulls me out of my dreams...see u next night B...sighhh.... crawling out of bed and .... well u dont have to know all :P lol
julia gets up and.......mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom !!!!!!!!!
my baby is a woman now and i am damn not ready for it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
just yesterday i changed her diapers and today???......arghhhhhhh

so i met up for brekkie with silke, sabine up and sabine down....much more down now lol he he
we had a nice time on her new terrace .... wonderful
we talked about soccer...... games last night
and decided we will go to see the germans lose at the public viewing tonight
we will proudly wear the portugese colours!!!
we´ll do everything for those who will kick Germany out!!!! lol

afterwards i went to julias school....they had play/sportsday today......talked a bit with her teacher and yelled for the girls playing handball!

talked shortly to Brian.....thinking about u! his niece is sick......he loves his niece so much...
he is very stressed and worried and i try to do my best to help him.... hard being so far away :(
but he and his family are in my prayers! she needs happy positive uncle brian! u can do it for her !

everything will be fine!

oleeeeee ole ole oleeeeeeeeee!

left............Rathausplatz in vienna......over 100.000 people unites!

middle....... the germans fouled as much as they could!

left.......guy with white shirt..... germans man!!!! sorry!!!

Proud to be Austrian!! many impressions.... i try to get a few unites....yes it does... we were never a great soccer nation but we did good yesterday... someday they will learn to get the ball inside lol....we lost but we didnt go down easily!

we are proud of u boys!

so we got ready to visit a public viewing here where we live.... there is a huge circus tent with a 32 m² screen....we came there early....ya we thought.... place was filled with people.... u saw red white red everywhere....i just had it painted on my face.... sabine and martin had shirts, cowbells caps....well true fans.... lol

so we tried to fight our way to the stage.... they had a band first we shaked before the match began.... andi went right back home lol.... watching the match from his sofa WEICHEI!!!! lol

they sang a few songs from U2 and i wanted Brian to hear.......but as u all guessed he couldnt be reached.....other story well........
it was amazing.......all those people....lots of flags.....we were yelling, singing.....

we stood proud singing our hymn............
we boooooooooohd as the german sung theirs ( they stole it from us during WW2.. composed by Haydn)

u just got carried with the emotions!
there were so many that couldnt fit into the tent......
i will post some pics of it when i can find some

the referee was.....well.....not that good

got a few messages ....seif who was watching it in dubai.....joerg listening to it at work lol brian.... oh well dont know where he was.....yeah i know !!!!!!

he sent both coaches from the field.....banned them...hardly happens we were all surprised
the german played shitty.....they were provoking a lot......they got a 0:1 out of us
it was ok.....we stood united and it brought so many people together!
we will still go watch some other games and feel the EMwave!

i personally think the dutch will win!!!!!

a note on the side: on sunday there were a load of drunk german fans in vienna.... kept singing " pack ur bags and go home u austrians! we are gonna send u home!!".......errr well
until a guy walked up to them and said.....psssstttt we are actually in austria right now!! vienna is in austria?.....silence.......oh well lol

ty julia for babysitting sofie and erik....ty silke for babysitting deniz!!!

a deaf and voiceless angie says......
everything will be ok!!!



had a fun saturday afternoon....we had a playground party nearby which a few of us parents organised.... once again i was the one painting kids faces....girls and boys.... last year i sat down at 2pm and got up at 6 pm....this year it was more relaxed....julia helped me....due to the EM i had to paint a lot of flags.....Holland, France, Portugal, Suisse and Turkey....mostly Austria!! yaaaaaaa

so the kids had fun and we planned a Parents/kids soccer game....not too many wanted to play so i said yes... mobilised a few more and we played....wanted Sabine as line referee but she wouldnt....buuuuuh lol

so i wanted to be in the goal....but after the first 2 goals against us i got replaced!!! sorry i wouldnt dive for the balls!!!! sooorrrrryyyyyy......
so we did turn it around to 2:2....but lost 4:2.....a lot of fouls from our side lol and they werent happy.....he he

so we had a nice day and i am sooooo tired.....
talking to seif and jai online and brian is i dont know where.....joerg is with finja.....

its getting a bit frustrating with brian.....i dont know.........i dont wanna be i am shutting up.....

me is in bed soon......

have a great weekend u all!

everything will be fine

Holland beat France 4:1 :O the sexy sweden boys play....drool....

phone call late at night.....

sami messaged me.....ya sami... long lost mr financial director or i dont know what :P he he
ya we had an affair a few years ago... and always stayed in touch once in a he sent me a sms....i was surprised but talked back and forth and he said he will call me....ya sure....his promises mean nothing ..... so i went to sleep and......( i keep my phone on since i am always waiting for a call from a certain someone) .... the phone rang around 11:30 pm... :O SAMI?

i got out of bed again and talked with him......he quit his job....ok..... he is a broker now.... mmmmhhh ok..... he is happy he has me.....mmmhhh well ok.... he comes to austria.....mmmm yeah right..... he wants to meet up in vienna.......ya ya ya right lol....... he wants to spend 3 months here.......YAYYYYYY RIGHT lol....... now he gets upset cause i didnt believe him... Visa? .... he got it......ok mmmmmmmh..... flight?....he will book it mmmmmh..... ya ok..... so i still dont believe it....

i will believe it when he is standing right in front of me!!!!!!!!! sorry sami...
so i agreed to meet him in vienna..... ya right.......
that´ll be funny........
miss u too.... good night......kiss xxxx

everything will be fine

EM 2008 !!!!

ya i admit it ....i watch the EM 2008.....and not just the teams with the cutest players lol......he just Austria is participating too....ya right cause we are hosting it... otherwise we wouldnt even come close.....we accepted that we are not good in soccer......but on sunday the guys surprised us......

they played against the croatians......and did a very good job.. they did lose 1:0 but they would have at least deserved a 1:1.... the game was very agressive and the croations knew how to play innocent.....

well we will watch a few more of the games and attend the public viewing to have a good time....
soccer is a very emotional game......triggers so many emotions.....but its fun.... even i yell and curse.....ya ya i know i am sorry......but its not that bad .....

mind just went blank lol........ok thats it for now
one more thing ......worried about brian.... he works so much.... hope u are doing ok! miss u :(
everything will be fine

I dreamed you......

It's hard to explain but when you know, you know.I was so amazed by you, you had me at 'hello' . I need you in my heart my body, mind and soul .it only took a moment to take my breath away...will u stay?

Does he know.?


**Long before u came i knew... somehow life will bring me u... long before u spoke my name... i believe in you i missed u....**

Does he know how much i miss him?
Does he realize how much i need him?
Does he know i am going to sleep with the phone beside my bed in case he calls?
Does he know how glad i am he came into my life?
Does he know???

**You caught my teardrops in your eyelid
You gave me strength to say hello
You found me stranded on your island
It felt like I was coming home.**

10:0 !!!!!!!!!!

OMG.... what a sad game..... we lost 10:0 .... even i could have done better keeping the balls out of the net.......arghhhhhhhhh.... yeah i admit i was buuuhiiiinnnng out the goalie... he deserved it!!!!!!!! 10:0!!!!!!!! still cant get over it.... they never played so bad... they kept the 1:0 the first half and then second half.... it was cruel..... :((
it looked like they gave up..... 10:0 .....i need a drink or two......SABINEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Fady grrrrr

Ok, es kostet mich zwar Bauchschmerzen, aber bitte schön: Fady Malouf mit seinem "Nicht-Siegerlied". (Anm. von Bine)

our last vacation....

took this pic on our last vacation lol.... hab das bei unserem letzten urlaub gemacht he he

my cupcake......mein kleiner süsser muffin!!!!

Love is you! the song
You caught my teardrops in your eyelid
You gave me strength to say hello
You found me stranded on your island
It felt like I was coming home.
And I know that you’re going places
Take a look I'm right behind
Love is you
Seeing things like you do
Waking up next to you
Wanna give you all,
All that I am.
Love is you
You turn this world into
Something I never knew
A Beauty surrounds you
Love is you.
You let me dive in unknown waters
I close my eyes I learn to see
And I don’t want to waste tomorrow
And I won’t if you’re there with me.
Love is you
Seeing things like you do
Waking up next to you
Wanna give you all,
All that I am.
Love is you
You turn this world into Something I never knew
A Beauty surrounds you
Love is you.
Love is you…
You’re my everything,
My everything,
My everything,
My world just falls apart
When you’re not here.
You caught my teardrops in your eyelid
It felt like I was coming home ...
Love is you!
now all that is missing is the video......SABIIIIIIINNNNNEEEEEEEEEEE!!! lol