The day is here....

the day is here....... i made myself busy all day.. since early morning.. i refuse to talk about it.. i cant help my feelings... i put them way back in my head... but they overflow my heart... i try to see the positive thing... my anniversary with my wonderful man... and i think of the words of a dear friend who said.. he came to u on that exact date for a reason... i try hard to see that... i know its true... but heart doesnt agree with mind...... arghhhh... i keep everything up till my head hits pillow.. then i allow myself to cry.. to cry in my mans arms who is more than ready to allow me to do that ... he is just the best...... but that doesnt stop the pain..... it doesnt.....

Das einzig Wichtige im Leben
sind die Spuren von Liebe,
die wir hinterlassen,
wenn wir ungefragt weggehen
und Abschied nehmen müssen.
Albert Schweitzer

Haiti Earthquake

how terrible... checking in on news all day to watch news about haiti... its such a poor country and this earthquake is heartbreaking... real life drama.. so many life lost.. and many more will die cause of poor or non excisting medical help!

Red Cross is taking donations via text messages. Text the word HAITI to the number 90999 to donate $10 to Red Cross relief efforts.

its all beyond heartbreaking !! let them know we care ! help in any way u can !

pray that everything will be good

I think i wont be doing so well....

sooooooooooo .. its january.. once again... since 4 years now january is not my fave month.... its the month my mom passed away. and i was not ready. i damn was not ready to let her go. but she just left without asking us. damn cancer. i wanted more time. damn cancer.

even now i sit here crying. i am not over. will never be over it. i try to ignore it through the year. the pain. the loss. the empty space. but in january its not working.

she would have turned 60 on Jan 3 rd. i remember when we celebrated her 50 thiest. or maybe i better dont. it hurts. mothers are much needed. take good care of ur mothers. tell them u love them. hug them. i wish i could. but cancer took her away. way too early.

so i think i wont be doing so well this month.

i love u mom. u are deeply missed.

god only cries for the living.. cause they are left behind !