forgot to mention that i talked to pj. he actually called me. and we talked for well...almost an hour. he was just being himself. it was so nice to hear him.i consider him my friend. he...well considers me...well i dont know. he says he is not into friendship? but i mean a lot to him.
well pj. i consider u my friend. and we will hang out together one day. u just hang in there.
Love u
Okay. So I managed to get past the first step. now all I have to do is keep the flow going by finding interesting things to talk about. Angie is more open with her feelings on here than I am and can talk about how I make her feel. Me on the other hand, has difficulty in telling others how she makes me feel without feeling embarassed. not that she embarasses me. I just like to keep those kind of feelings to myself. I would rather express my emotions publicly through physical motions. I dont know how to write them down. but I guess with a little more confidence and perseverance I could do it. We will just have to wait and see.


sex. very frustrating for us right now. i awaked scotts mojo. oh well. a good thing if i WOULD BE THERE WITH HIM RIGHT NOW TO ENJOY IT!!!!!!
uhh. everytime we get close to phonesex we get disturbed. i am cheating on scott with my right hand every fucking day. lol. i want him so badly. ok ok. i better stop, this is private anyways. but hey we are just missing each other. but we will figure it out. and he has to stop make me horny all the time. damned the guy is on another continent and makes me wet. grrrrrrrr.

good done

what an entrance. well done baby!
now here u go. thats my man. can u ask for more? and for Da man, yeah, a bloke!!!
dont wanna say who u are? u call me ange so i know u?
i have been a not perfect gf ystd. yaaarrrkksss. but once again scott was so understanding.
i spent the night with a friend in a hotel room. not with the guy. but i couldnt find my way home cause i was so drunk. uhhh. i would have freaked out if scott would have done that.
why am i always doing such things?
nothing happend!!! but hey angie. dont fuck this up!
Well. I hope I have done this properly. Would hate to think that all this hard work Honey has put into this blog was destroyed in an instant because of me. Yes you guessed it. It is the man himself. Angie insisted I made an entry into her blog since now she considers me her other half. Only I dont know what to blog. I suppose I just pretend this is like my own personal diary and make entries into it about things that has happened?
Well... What can I say? a lot has happened over the last few months. As you have probably read already and are curious as to what happened to me that I changed so much that I am a different person? I dont know exactly? Call it a moment of clarity. A wake up call. Whatever you want to call it. I don't care. All I can say is I have been given a second chance in what was once a life with no direction or bearing. I have been given a second chance to prove to not only myself but to Angie as well that I can be whatever I want to be. I decided that I no longer wanted to be an immature, selfish and inconsiderate person and would like to focus on what I really wanted out of life. I wanted to be happy. I wanted to make someone else happy also. Wanted to meet someone special, settle down, get married, perhaps even have childeren. Then out of the blue. There she was. As if she knew what I was thinking. But from that moment on I realised that this was my second chance, and if I really meant what I said then this was the moment I have been waiting for. It took a long time for Angie to accept that I had changed. Didn't happen over night and it wasn't easy. I had to prove it to her. And in the process of it all I discovered a lot about myself. I learnt a lot. And I learnt a lot about Angie too. And I learned how to be happy again.
So... I will come in here now and again just to make an entry or two to update you guys on what has been happening between us. Almost like a soap opera. I'll try to keep it it as interesting as possible without going into too much personal detail. Anyway. Better go. At least you guys now know what happend from my point of view, and I hope to be back in here very soon. Hooroo from the Bloke from Down Under


time: oh i dont know
wearing: too much, its freezing cold outside
last talked to on phone: scott, my man
last kissed: julia
drinking: tea, lots of it
feeling: missing my baby so much
listening to: reason from hoobastank
tomorrow i: wanna have phonesex with my man
cried last: when i saw `veer and zaara` a bollywood movie
felt bad: when andi called me a stupid cow today, but hey i deserved it, hope he wont take revenge

love to be loved by you

Love to be loved by you

I can’t believe I’m standing here
Been waiting for so many years
And today I’ve found the queen to reign my heart
You changed my life so patiently
And turned it into something good and real
I feel just like I felt in all my dreams
There are questions hard to answer can’t you see

Baby tell me how can I tell you
That I love you more than life
Show me how can I show you
That I’m blinded by your light
When you touch me I can touch you
To find out the dream is true
I love to be loved by you

You’re looking kinda scared right now
You’re waiting for the wedding vows
But I don’t know if my tongue’s able to talk
Your beauty is just blinding me
Like sunbeams on a summer stream
And I gotta close my eyes to protect me
Can you take my hand and lead me from here please

Baby tell me how can I tell you
That I love you more than life
Show me how can I show you
That I’m blinded by your light
When you touch me I can touch you
To find out the dream is true
I love to be loved
I need to be loved
I love to be loved by you

I know they’re gonna say our love’s not strong enough to last forever
And I know they’re gonna say that we’ll give up
Because of heavy weather
But how can they understand
That our love’s just having sense
We keep on going on and on
Cause this is where we both belong

Baby tell me how can I tell you
That I love you more than life
Show me how can I show you
That I’m blinded by your light
When you touch me I can touch you
To find out the dream is true
I love to be loved
I need to be lovedI
love to be loved by you


oh what a day. am babysitting for a friend. she fell down the stairs. she hurt her foot and is in the hospital now.
i know ppl get bored reading about how happy scott and i are. well sorryyyyy!!
hey, i found my soul mate. we had our ups and downs but we made it. dont be jealous.
i worked hard to gain my trust again. i am sooooo looking forward seeing him. i wont let him go. i know. but he has to go back. he has his kids there. so i guess its gonna be me moving to aussie land. dont get me wrong. i love that country. i am sure it wont be a problem. but isnt waking up beside the person u love the best thing in the world??? ok not when he stinks like alcohol. lol. or farts. or... oh my god. ok. a girl can dream huh. lol.
i am NOT saying that scott does all that!!!

he would even sing a love song for me. oh wow. i promise i will let him do that. he says he isnt romantic but he is. maybe he is not aware that all the wonderful things he does are romantic.
and hmmm, am really curious if he writes me that love letter he promised me for so long. yeah he is forgetful. sighhh. u cant have all i guess. there would be something terribly wrong if he is mr perfect. i am no mrs perfect either.

i am so stressed with this guy right now. he wont leave me alone. he scares me so much sometimes. damned. a stalker is terrible. it kills me. i talk about it but it doesnt help. and scott is too far away. i always turn up alone at places. or with andi, he scared him off sometimes. we act like a couple sometimes. scott u didnt read this!! ahh i want it to end. he pisses me off so much.
even got an lil accident. oh scott i miss u so much i wanna kiss u so badly.

i guess u wont see much of austria. lol. maybe u leave my bedroom once in a while. when u beg? ahhh. so many things i will do to you. but ...private. u ppl can imagine i guess.
today i got some really nice sms from him. got butterflies in my tummy when i think about him.
i love u very much!

bla bla

finally i am back to blog a bit. have the accident behind me. the most wonderful man in this world still loves me. and i made it hard for him believe me. i am so bitchy sometimes. and he doesnt want to argue. he never does. oh that will be funny. he´ll be murdering me soon. no, no. its all good. we are doing just fine and i am proud of myself.

he just said the most wonderful thing to me ystd. i wont repeat, its private. but i just fall in love with this man more and more every day. Oh damn i really hope i dont mess this up !!!

Byron is driving me crazy. i just want to hit him. i know this is not right but i am so out of words and he drives me nuts. he cant just leave me alone. he has to follow me and tell me his peace of mind. he has a gf damned, why doesnt he talk to her??????? WHY ME??????

am worried bout pj. tried to call him and couldnt get trough. where are you???? contact me pls.

julia just had her 10th bday. boy is she big now. and i dont feel that old!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you my sunshine!!!

tonight we will watch a bollywood movie together. i know i will cry like a baby. but i dig this movies. mwahhhhh.

i love you mr scott missen. sorry for being to difficult at times. hang in there plsssss!!! i am worth it.