tuesday, 25 th of january....funeral over-more than 200 ppl-raining-but all done-healing can begin-but i miss her-more than words can say-life goes on ppl say-yeah its like that-julia is fine-she is the most precious girl-i love her to pieces-world here i come again
"und wenn ein lied meine lippen verlässt, dann nur damit du liebe empfängst!"

u will live in our hearts. heaven has his angel back.



Doris Treffer
here i am again. but-sad, devastated,lost, empty, dont know how to discribe it. my mom died last saturday. they called me, but i came to late. no more talks, no more hugs no more mom. now i have to organize the 3rd funeral since march last year. i hav enough!!!!!!! i dont want no more. feel so empty. somehow i always put the thought of her dying far away. she was doing better. i didnt want her to die. i am feeling selfish. i want her back. my eyes so swollen. weak knees. the doctor said i ll be ok. it ll take a few days. it takes longer. friday is the funeral. i hope i can get through it. no - i will get through it. for her. mom i love u! we will never forget u! u live in our hearts and thoughts forever!!!
honey baby glad to see u can blog in again. i read ur email and made blog to send u ur password.. maybe dats why u can blog in again.. i donno. i didnt have much time to reply things cos im not online much as well but juz keep in touch aye cos my blog is alwiz up and i'd alwiz be there. i'll try to be around soon so we can talk. but ur not dat ez to get urself aye.. **muackz..
am drained out. no energy. nada. absolutely nada. still aching. lost the baby. lost the man. he couldnt handle it. lost my granny. my mums sick. but ...i am a surviver. how? i will figure out. bad things happend in this world. we didnt celebrate new year after seeing those horrible pictures from the flooding. we cant imagine. how is that possible. there is more to come i fear. my best friend converted. she is a muslim now.i still love her 2 pieces. and there is scott. i dont know. love him too. he is close to me though he is so far away. he gives me strenght. he is troubled. fights with himself. he will make it. i will help him. and pj? havent heard from him. posted. mailed. nada. hope u doing ok pj. hope i didnt do anything to make u feel bad.love.

how is a man suppose to change? by blue (for scott. listen to it baby)

i am still hanging in there. new year. new chances. somewhere out there he is. i know.
DATE: 3rd of january. my moms bday
sitting: in a cold place
talked last to: julia
eat last: cake
wearing: too much cause its freaking cold

xmas is over. new year begun. sad things happeninig.didnt feel like celebrating at all.