Happy new year !!!

I wish all my faithful readers a wonderful and blessed 2008 !
May it be a good one for you!
Sending out all my love to you!

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i admit it....

ok ok... i admit it....
i am playing with julias nintendo ds lite... and i love it....
I admit i fight her for it... yeah ... am i a bad mom cause of that ? lol
I admit i sent her to bed early a few times cause i wanted to play lol
Now stop yelling or is that a laugh???
i admit i created my own dog in the nintendogs game... yeah i have !!!
Yeah i feed the dogs when julia lost interests! i bath them and go for walks!
Yeah YEAH yeah ... u can stop laughing now... dont want them to die dont we???
Hey, but julias friends think she has a cool mom and their mommies dont feed the dogs and help lol... see ????

So... gotta go now cause some of our animals need to be walked ! lol

Everything will be fine


For Amy....

This one goes out to Amy... i love u just the way u are ! By your side all the way ! Hugs

Star... by Reamon

i heard them live! so wonderful... just love their songs!

How many times... how many lies !

I came across this song on the net when i was searching for something else... and i am hooked onto it now... been listening to it cause it feels like she is talking about how i feel sometimes ...when i am confused about how to deal with feelings for a certain somebody... no no... i am not sad... listen to it!

They would try to tell me something
Oh, but I was hearing nothing
When they said you were just playing me
I didn't listenI didn't want to
You couldn't find a blinder fool

I'm here Searching through the wreckage
Wondering why the message never got through
And I found I i misplaced all of my faith
How could I put my faith in you?

How many times?
How many lies?
How long you been sneaking?
How long you been creeping around?
How many lies?
How many times?
Were you here deceiving
When I was here believing in you.

I got to put the blame on myself
Should've known with everyone else.
Just knowing they knew you was just bad news
I should've walked out (I should've walked out)
I should've stayed clear (I should've stayed clear)
I'm glad your sad ass is out of here !

I've gone and thrown out all the records
All the ones that ever reminded me of you.
I've gone and tore up all the pictures
'Cause there was not one shred of truth.

There were so many times
There were so many lies
I don't know why I stayed on you
There were so many days
There were so many games
I should've thrown your sad ass out.

But now the game is through
I'll never trust in you
I've finally got wise
I opened up my eyes
Your game is over!

How many times?
How many lies?
How long you been sneaking?
How long you been creeping around?
How many lies?
How many times?
Were you here deceiving
When I was here believing in you
I opened up my eyes!

How many times... how many lies ?

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My day....Part 1

6 am...gosh i need to go the bathroom but i am too lazy
6:02 am... turning around... is that a hand?
6:03 am... trying to remember with whom i went to sleep last night
6:03:15sec...phew... that is my ex hubby... NO NO NO.. now dont have any naughty thoughts people... too many people stayed at my place so there was just one place left... beside me lol... nah i have been good...on the other hand
6:05 am ... turning towards him... oh... the snoring...i forgot... one thing i didn´t miss... hmmm
6:07 am... still thinking what to do...placing an arm on his chest... is he waking up? still snoring... moving around a bit...still snoring... new plan... ha ha... putting a leg over his... that will work... ya ya i got a response... he turns around... he looks at me... he smiles and... goes back to sleep... so much for my sex appeal early in the morning... i gotta go to the bathroom anyways so...
6:10 am... trying to find my way out of a dark room... wait .. hey... why?
6:10:26 sec... turning the light on!!!!!!!!!!
6:11 am... finally in the bathroom and... aaahhhhhh
6:12 am... looking in the mirror... oh man.. who is that? better get out lol
6:15 am ... coffee machine on... refilling water...
6:16 am ... walking to the window... beautiful... all white.. and hey its not snow... ice
6:20 am... coffee... nice... hot... damn forgot milk and i am on the sofa.. to lazy... drink black? grrrr... ok
6:55 am ... still on the sofa listening to music... can´t fall asleep anymore
7:14 am... washing face and teeth... yeah i am motivated!!!!
7:22 am ...damn i turned the tv on ! damn damn damn... why? there is a SISSY movie...awww why now??? i love those movies grrrr.. only just a bit....
8:40 am.... ok ok... i know... but i love those movies SORRY!!!
8:45 am ... going online for a bit... just to check mails
9:35 am ... i was just checking mails... i swear lol
9:55 am ... got lots of emails... don´t u laugh!... ok ok... i blogged too sigh
10:05 am ... sabine called me down to eat brekkie with her... hey good idea
10:47 am ... ended up singing karaoke in sabines living room! "it´s raining men!"
11:25 am... gosh i need to do so many things .. bake cookies... bake a cake? shower... hang clothes... make lunch... vacuum the floors... dish wash...make the tuna dip... prepare the table...
11:26 am...phone is peeping.. a sms.. hmmm... don´t know that number... it´s jaiveer... wow... never thought i would hear from him... an estonian number... hmmm not replying for now... gotta think about it
Call Me When You're Sober
Dont cry to me
If you loved me
You would be here with me
You want me, come find me
Make up your mind

Should´ve let you fall
And lose it all
So maybe you can remember yourself
Cant keep believing
Were only deceiving ourselves
And Im sick of the lies
And youre too late

Dont cry to me
If you loved me
You would be here with me
You want me, come find me
Make up your mind

Couldnt take the blame
Sick with shame
Must be exhausting to lose your own game
Selfishly hated
No wonder youre jaded
You cant play the victim this time
And youre too late

So dont cry to me
If you loved me
You would be here with me
You want me, come find me
Make up your mind

You never call me when youre sober
You only want it cause its over
Its over

How could I burn paradise
How could I
You were never mine

So dont cry to me
If you love me
You would be here with me
Dont love me
Just get your things
Ive made up your mind

Happy holidays!

Happy holidays my faithful readers! i will try to come during the next days and tell u what Santa brought me! It´s very cold here... no snow but -6.... brrrrr.... Julia slept at a friends house and i should do so many other things than sit here... sigh...

tonight i will attend a friends bday party... She will be 50! Happy bday Renate!!!

right now i don´t feel like going!

Had a short conversation with scott and he told me he lost his phone with all the numbers and to tell teena and phil! Alright... i did so today... i do have to say i feel i am being played... both parties told me they wont talk to each other anymore... but who to believe... who can i trust?

i do know for sure now that a big part of my feelings for scott have died... he did a good job... i don´t feel love anymore as i used to... it hurts to think about the time... but i have moved on... i wished he could see a friend in me as i see in him... but men are different i guess...

i had a strange dream the other night... that scott got married and he invited me... i went with B and in church scott turned around .... told me that he can´t say yes with me being there ... he asked me to wait outside... strange huh...

he disappointed me so much... for the second time... but i have learned from it... am letting go...

i am very sad when i read in Aims site today... what is this hating all about?... she is such a beautiful person... i am with her all the way... i wish people would just back off and leave her alone!

To all of you.... HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

everything will be fine


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For B... What u don´t know :(

This goes out to B... i am so sorry that u feel that i hurt u so... it was not my intention... my feelings for u are strong but i am afraid i guess... i know u said i should let u love me... but the fear of getting hurt again is so big... will u have patience and wait for me?... i wanna tell u so many things... i know u wait for my call... i know u wait for me to show up at your door... i know... i feel so much for you...


What you don´t know Is that your scars are beautiful. What you don´t know It´s your imperfections always makes me home.What you don´t know Is how we spare our time Cause I can´t speak whenever you´re around...
And it´s not like me to hide behind a wall.And it´s not like me to fear before.
What you don´t know Is that I lay awake...Wishing you were here tonight!What you don´t know That I loved you long before we were alive.Cause how would you know, how could you know.So now I´m gonna tell you everything...
What you don´t know I have studied the way you walk.What you don´t know Is I´ve already kissed you in the shadows of my heart.What you don´t know Is that you´re poetry. If you turn around there´s someone you won´t see!
What you don´t know Is when in the morning the sun light comes .The morning comes there´s time I won´t be afraid to try...

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Merry xmas!

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Hey everybody! are u having a good time?
We are still waiting for snow but its already cold!
Christmas is coming up so fast now and i am way behind everything!
Haven´t baked cookies. Haven´t bought all the presents!
i started knitting socks for julia with her name on it!
yup.. thats keeping me busy! I haven´t knitted socks in ages and this will be my last one too for a long time.Gosh me and my ideas!
Or should i say.. thank you Sabine!!! lol
I won´t be on the next days so i wish u all happy holidays now.
Julia and me are doing fine and we are looking forward to all the xmas festivities with our friends.

Singing xmas songs and julia playing the flute. Did u all know that "silent night" is from Austria? created in a cold night in the year 1818 ( i think i remember that right) from 2 guys here in austria. the song travelled all around the world. isn´t that amazing?

I hope u all will have a wonderful xmas time with your families! Enjoy your holidays!
Hope u all get a present ! ( Depends if u were good during the last year?)

see u all soon!

Everything will be fine!

p.s: Aims i got your messages but u obviously don´t get my replies :( miss u too! hugs!
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Long Distance? - NO !!

Hey hey hey... am single ... once again... i refused to be in just another long distance relationship...i tried it once with scott and i learned from it... I know B´s opinion to it... he is just 2 hours away and here a lot... but i am not doing it again... he says i broke his heart... gosh... yeah i do feel guilty... but it´s not what i want... i do hope he will understand... he is having a hard time... he thinks i broke up with him cause of scott... how wrong can he be!

I support him all the way... he loves playing soccer and he should do whats right for him... playing for a league club in another country is another important step in his career... i just don´t see myself being a players wife... he sees things in me i don´t... so we are in a difficult situation... the time we have been together he proved that he is a real man... he stood by me... he was there for me... show me a guy who is still there while the woman he loves still battles with feelings for his ex?... so am i being unfair to him?

I have times when i feel i did the right thing ... and there are times when i am so confused... he says he needs me now... sigh... i am doing the best i can... i am sorry B... so sorry....

In gods hands

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In gods hands....

I am sick of answering questions about Scott...from now on song lyrics will do that for me...it was a thing scott and me did... sending the other one a line out of a song and the other knew instantly what it was all about... looks like u won´t let him step out of my life... i am starting to accept that your interest is still so huge when it comes to this topic ... i know that it was like a soap opera here at times on my blog... sigh... but it will be played in a different way now... my way... so the first song that comes to my mind thinking about him now is...

Nelly Furtado * In gods hands*

I looked at your face
I saw that all the love had died
I saw that we had forgotten to take the timeI,
I saw that you couldn't care less about what you do
Couldn't care less about the lies
You couldn't find the time to cry

We forgot about love
We forgot about faith
We forgot about trust
We forgot about us
Now our love's floating out the window
Our love's floating out the back door
Our love's floating up in the sky in heaven
Where it began
back in God's hands

You said that you had said all that you had to say
You said baby it's the end of the day
And we gave a lot but it wasn't enough
We got so tired that we just gave up
We didn't respect it
We went and neglected it
We didn't deserve it
But I never expected this

Our love floated out the window
Our love floated out the back door
Our love floated up in the sky to heaven
It's part of a plan
It's back in God's hands
Back in God's hands
It didn't last
It's a thing of the past

Oh we didn't understand
Just what we had.... our love is back in gods hands!

Hey ya all!

Sorry i have been neglecting you... but there was so much going on and i couldn´t be bothered writing about it all... i know i know i didn´t even blog about vienna... I AM SORRY !!!

i am doing my best to come here more often... time goes so fast...but i am reading your emails and answering them!

well where should i start... hmmm.... xmas is coming up and i don´t have any presents yet... didn´t even think about my xmas cards cover this year... should i dare and buy some at a store? ... i know many would be dissapointed to not get a self made this year... sigh... i will try... I WILL TRY!!!

Julia was looking for a english speaking penpal and asked if i could ask scott... she thought maybe his daughter Olivia would be interested... i told her i don´t wanna message him but she can... and she sent him a sms.... he still didn´t reply to this day... she was very sad and i said i would call him to see if he was maybe out of credit .... only to hear that his phone was off... i haven´t tried since... now i am dissapointed too that he didn´t even answer... but i think he has a good excuse.... hope everything is ok with him!

Things are moving fast for sabine now... she maybe a divorced woman in a few weeks... yay!!! i don´t wanna say more about this case now... but we are keeping her on the right track and i think she is doing ok... i am trying my best.

I am still thinking what to get julia for xmas... i am SO NOT in a shopping mood! yeah yeah u heard right! ANGE ISN´T IN A MOOD TO SHOP! now don´t start to cry or freak out... i will be ok... lol

this year i am looking forward to xmas... we will make a family xmas... that what xmas is for me... a family event and not a religious holiday...Andi was calling me asking if we would have to buy presents for each other... we started that a few years ago... buy each other a present ...he was in a bad mood and i was then too... if u don´t want then not!!! WHATEVER!!!

yeah i admit i like to get presents too... I LIKE TO OPEN AT LEAST ONE PRESENT AT XMAS!!!!
Somebody? anybody?????? just one????sigh... am in a strange mood today... spent all morning sitting opposite a guy who smoked pipe and i have a headache now! i stink like pipesmoke and i hate that... grrrrrr
my hair... my clothes... i hate that...

A big hug to my girl Aims! MISSING U TOO! AND I WANT A PASSWORD! LOL

everything will be fine

Anyone who can touch you
Can hurt you
or heal you
Anyone who can reach you
Can love you
or leave you.....