January 15th... i got through the day... dont know how but i did... it hit me hard this year... its been 3 years and it doesnt get better... i wished somebody would have hugged me... oh now i am being unfair... julia did and late at night silke.... i got through the day yes i did... i made lunch for sabine and deniz.... i got through it... i was as normal as i can be... i took a long walk with marianne.. had coffee... i was as normal as i can be... i got through the day... till the evening...
then when i was alone... it hit me... i sat there crying... it was just jason and me... i reached out to brian... he was out till late ...
all i remember are her hands and andis presence... he was there... i remember yelling at a doctor cause he was being so cocky... i dont wanna cry so i have to stop talking about it...
i miss her so much....i got through the day...... yay
sick :(
sick again arghhh... yesterday afternoon it hit me.... spent almost all night infront of my toilet bowl.... headache... dizzy.... shit.... as i was trying to go back to sleep this morning i got a sms from Aims... too sweet... took me like an hour till i got it lol... fell asleep... oh i had my mobile in my hand... oh aims... falling asleep.... ouch whats that... oh my mobile... ah a message from aims... lol ... bless her
now i am going back to sleep!
now i am going back to sleep!
Sooooooo cold.....
its so cold !!! i swear it is.... i wear so much clothes.... stripping for Brian? nah... he would fall asleep before i reach my bra lol he he .... surprise Aims got up for some air lol.... was really happy talking to her... she´s been M.I.A for some time now... but hey i´d be the same freshly in love... glad i could talk to her.... whenever she is happy i am ... so we are all good....
ouch fingers getting real cold typing here.... drank so much tea i have to go pee all the time arghhh.. but that means rip off all the layers of clothes ... hell what am i talking here? lol sorry... well everyday problems in cold austria here...
we had a holiday yesterday... Andi came over... he ate so many cookies ... i was happy to see them go :P
sorry baby.... we had a great time talking bout personal matters... he cracks me up at times
our friendshÃp reached a new level and i love it!!!
Brian is back at work... means he will be lost too !!!
he wants me to come visit him next month for my bday.... ya know what u gotta do darling!!!
Sabine was over this morning for a short visit... she is still sick ... poor darling... they have both been sick lately... this weather sucks... snow is good but not these freeezing temperatures!!!!
But i got jason to keep me warm!! awww.....
sending u all warm thoughts!!!
warm me up people!!!
everything will be fine
Angie
ouch fingers getting real cold typing here.... drank so much tea i have to go pee all the time arghhh.. but that means rip off all the layers of clothes ... hell what am i talking here? lol sorry... well everyday problems in cold austria here...
we had a holiday yesterday... Andi came over... he ate so many cookies ... i was happy to see them go :P
sorry baby.... we had a great time talking bout personal matters... he cracks me up at times
our friendshÃp reached a new level and i love it!!!
Brian is back at work... means he will be lost too !!!
he wants me to come visit him next month for my bday.... ya know what u gotta do darling!!!
Sabine was over this morning for a short visit... she is still sick ... poor darling... they have both been sick lately... this weather sucks... snow is good but not these freeezing temperatures!!!!
But i got jason to keep me warm!! awww.....
sending u all warm thoughts!!!
warm me up people!!!
everything will be fine
Angie
Brians call at 2 am.....
heeeeeeeeeeeeya allllllllll !!!!!!!!! happy new year! did u celebrate good? safe? lol
well i am almost sober again! we had a fab time... i enjoyed sliding into the new year with my fave people! (missed u aims!!!!) we laughed so hard at manfred that my makeup was gone at 10 pm already ....... oh my god he cracked me up!
we got safely into the new year........ and then.... everybody was gone... julia in bed.... cleaning up the mess.... i got undressed and got comfty on the sofa to watch some more tv...... my phone rang ...... errrrrr
Brian.... uh oh...... i didnt send him a message to wish a happy new year.... i simply forgot.... i chose to answer.... hell yeah he hasnt called me since.......well since i spent some time in vienna with my doctor....... oh ok here we go
i was so happy to hear his voice..... gave me a warm feeling..... instantly... i was so happy but i didnt want him to know that... yup i tried to sound cool lol
then he surprised me.... he told me things he wanted to say such a long time ago... he opened himself to me... i was really positively surprised!
i did hope i sounded sober lol... but he wasnt sober either... another halfdrunk call hmmmm
then he said ......... "i want u to be there when i come home.... i want u to be there..... "
oh wow .... goosebumbs
"what are we gonna do angie?"........ " so u really love me angie?"
so he decides to have that conversation now...... at 2 am .... both being drunk... that can only go wrong can it?
i tried my best to tell him how i feel... what i want.... he tells me things that i wanted to hear for so long ... and it was so wonderful to hear them ... and i knew they came from his heart... he kinda poured his heart out and i appreciated it very much.... i felt so much love for that man
and then it went sour........ i felt that he thinks that i can make his life better.....yeah i can... well wrongly put... i feel that seeing and being with me will change it all.... well how can i put it.... hmmm... i felt so much pressure on me right that second... to make it all good for him.... and i tried to tell him... thats when he said sorry and hung up on me...... grrrrrrrrr i hate when he does that... i couldnt even explain myself....
i have to sort my thoughts..............
Seify is disturbing me on msn.........seify shut up!!!!!!!!!! no u cant see the pics! lol..... the message box is blinking and blinking lol...........
everybody have a good relaxing day!
everything will be fine
Angie
well i am almost sober again! we had a fab time... i enjoyed sliding into the new year with my fave people! (missed u aims!!!!) we laughed so hard at manfred that my makeup was gone at 10 pm already ....... oh my god he cracked me up!
we got safely into the new year........ and then.... everybody was gone... julia in bed.... cleaning up the mess.... i got undressed and got comfty on the sofa to watch some more tv...... my phone rang ...... errrrrr
Brian.... uh oh...... i didnt send him a message to wish a happy new year.... i simply forgot.... i chose to answer.... hell yeah he hasnt called me since.......well since i spent some time in vienna with my doctor....... oh ok here we go
i was so happy to hear his voice..... gave me a warm feeling..... instantly... i was so happy but i didnt want him to know that... yup i tried to sound cool lol
then he surprised me.... he told me things he wanted to say such a long time ago... he opened himself to me... i was really positively surprised!
i did hope i sounded sober lol... but he wasnt sober either... another halfdrunk call hmmmm
then he said ......... "i want u to be there when i come home.... i want u to be there..... "
oh wow .... goosebumbs
"what are we gonna do angie?"........ " so u really love me angie?"
so he decides to have that conversation now...... at 2 am .... both being drunk... that can only go wrong can it?
i tried my best to tell him how i feel... what i want.... he tells me things that i wanted to hear for so long ... and it was so wonderful to hear them ... and i knew they came from his heart... he kinda poured his heart out and i appreciated it very much.... i felt so much love for that man
and then it went sour........ i felt that he thinks that i can make his life better.....yeah i can... well wrongly put... i feel that seeing and being with me will change it all.... well how can i put it.... hmmm... i felt so much pressure on me right that second... to make it all good for him.... and i tried to tell him... thats when he said sorry and hung up on me...... grrrrrrrrr i hate when he does that... i couldnt even explain myself....
i have to sort my thoughts..............
Seify is disturbing me on msn.........seify shut up!!!!!!!!!! no u cant see the pics! lol..... the message box is blinking and blinking lol...........
everybody have a good relaxing day!
everything will be fine
Angie
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)