shitty , crappy, sad.... u name it

sorry for not being around.... there is much to blog about but it just wont come out.... sorry
shitty, crappy, sad, annoyed, dissapointed........ so many words to explain how i feel.

but i am functioning. yes i am .. and i guess thats whats keeping me from breaking down.
i have to funtion yes.

dont get me wrong i have many beautiful friends who are there for me.
andi just lifts me up everytime we meet!
thank u for the jason mraz cd!!!!
we did something on saturday i thought we would never do. odd but well ok.
anytime again andi!

talking to another friend now ..... Amy.... all the way in australia... she is such a darling...
glad i got her.... even though she is too damn far away.... she´ll always listen to me ... wish to have her closer ... but at least she is on planet he he
one day aims one day!!!

so to u all.......... i am a survivor and i will survive this too!
this is taking a lot out of me but i will get through it!

i was hoping with Brians help but he is falling down at the moment too. he is on his way back to normal as we speak but i am having a hard time with our situation right now!
i am always trying to make him understand........ does he?
i feel he doesnt care....... at all
but then he messages me drunk.......... seems drunk is the only way he can talk to me lately? should that worry me? or should i see it in the way that... being vulnerable and down he is thinking about me......hmmmm
we both met at the worst time of our lives... we couldnt have know what is coming our way
i need him to heal but he cant be there for me
so i gotta do it without him

brian is it so damn hard to hear my voice on the phone???? is it????

everything will be alright.........hell yeah it will

good night!

hey ya all.... its late saturday night here and its time to go to sleep!
had a busy day. was so crazy that i made an apple pie 2 hours ago.... :P
gonna get my julia and then hit the sack.
she is already calling me!

hope u all have a good weekend!

everything will be fine

TGIF !!!!!!!!!

hello out there.......ya i am still alive!
i know i have been neglecting you and i feel bad about that.
i promise to better myself!

Aims told me to blog so she can read something... well ......hmmm
havent we talked about everything already today? lol
what more to say? hmmm

jason is still present with his music in my daily life.... i start to love his songs... the lyrics...
its friday today.... thank god another week over....
we will have big brunch tomorrow with all our friends.... well the closest ones...
looking forward to that.

i think i am gonna take a long bubble bath tonight and listen to jason.... :P
maybe have a nice conversation with brian?
gives me warm feelings.....

winter is near here.... jaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Danny lol.... sipping on gluhwein as i type lol nah i am kidding but i will drink a few and think of you..... and a schnitzel....or better gulasch? lol
always enjoy our conversations ;)

my fingers are getting cold so i will stop typing and get some warm tea......
i wish u all a wonderful weekend!

everything will be fine

this song is wonderful............ i love u Brian

My Vienna visit in September....

yeah i know i promised to talk about my stay in vienna in september.... so here we go... sorry its that late ! ;)

train ride was relaxing.... up to 7 hours in a train can go very slow... but i had my music and lots to read... somehow being in a train always makes me think about Scott ( he is driving trains in australia ).... my black sheep was waiting at the trainstation with flowers.... smiling a big smile... we went to pick up the concert tickets.... yeah i was a bit upset he hadnt managed to do that before but oh well... he is a bit chaotic at times.... we went to his place and almost got to the concert to late.... arghhh

the concert was so cool.... black sheep and me had loads of fun.... he was very attentive.... i sang along and he didnt even mind lol.... jason mraz rocked the place and i am an absolute fan of his music now... and of him of course

we finished the night with loads of cocktails.... i hadnt eaten all day and so i was drunk pretty fast as u can imagine.... we drank so many different ones that i almost felt sick... we both got home though lol

next day he had to go to an convention but brought me coffee while i was still half asleep.... wow... yeah there are still guys doing that.... nice being woken up like that.... we hurried up to get out and he caught his train in time....

i spent the day with my dear friend Gabi.... love her dearly... her two boys are just adorable and Michael cracks me up anytime i see him... he is such a darling

we met up with black sheep at night and Gabi got to meet him... it was so cute seeing him so shy... altough he kissed me when we met... that surprised me... we were so tired that we fell right into bed

next day i dragged him to a shopping mall... " are u serious angie?"... yup lol... and we went to Ikea.... he spent more money there than me... go figure lol

he took me out to Burger King.... he is so romantic isnt he sighhh..... gosh what more can i want ??? lol he he

we had a fun day but spending money is exhausting too.... :P

saturday we decided to go see the Van gogh exhibition.... it took us 3 tries till we finally decided that the row wasnt that long anymore.... but we did spend a lot of time in coffee houses that afternoon.... he is a charming company... his eyes are warm but..... he is a charming liar also lol

sorry but u know its true....

the exhibition was so wonderful.... the only negative were all the people.... and there were many....

he took me out to dinner and we had a fun last night before i had to go back home....

that night Brian called me at 4:30 am.... he was drunk and scared .... i got up and talked to him for a bit.... wonder why he did.... i asked him if he was ok and he said " that depends on.... " hmmm

i woke up every day at 6 am to sneak out to the toilet and to call julia...she insisted on that call before she had to go to school.... he just smiled at me and calling me a " heroe of every day life"

it was a wonderful time with black sheep... he treated me like a princess and i was feeling safe.

everything was soooooooooo fine



Dont make someone a priority
who only makes you an option!!!!

Thank you Aims.... i will try to remember that! hugs

ok ok ok Aims!!!!

yeah i got ya Aims!!!
i am sorry.......i was away but i thought about u... we had a short talk a few weeks back didnt we?
that was u right? :P
i was away and life has me back.... sigh......

i wish to go back......I WANNA GO BAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!

gosh even my friends called me to check if i had boarded the train... they were afraid i would stay even longer.... oh common ( yeah i would have la la la la la)

i am stuck in one place for too long now. and there is so much goin on in my life ... arghhhh
u know the feeling when u just wanna go to sleep??
i have with so much shit to deal and sometimes i make my life harder... my fault yeah i know... but i am stubborn at times.

there is a guy who likes me that i keep at a distance and the guy i fell for is keeping me at a distance... talking about complicated....arghhhhh

but one thing i really appreciate is my net of friends... who catch me if i fall and i love them all dearly.... cant buy that with any money!!!!

ok ok......i promise to be back more often!

everything will be fine


P.S : to PJ..........didnt see ur sms till now pj! message me with news! where are u?