there´s a certain person in my life who means a lot to me. i got her through a lot the last 1.5 years. always there. i tried my best to be there.
it took a lot out of me. emotionally too. there were many times when i went back home crying.
i was always being the strong one. somebody had to be.
i did it cause i wanted to. i cared. always told her one day u´ll be there for me when i have my breakdown.
but when u cross a line. when u say one word too much... even not being aware of it.
i have honestly no idea whats going on right now. have i said something wrong? did something wrong? or didnt do or say anything wrong ?
honestly i had a lot on my plate lately... an awful lot. i was busy with myself too.
putting that back i called her, i visited her.... felt strange
then a few things happened..... with another couple.... that made me think....
i feel that she feels ashamed .... the way she acts towards me.... hard to discribe :(
those people live next door to me .... she comes to visit them or her... no knock on my door
not even a short ring saying....... hey i have no time but a short hello........... she used to do it......now.......
today i left.... they were there again.... yeah it hurts ..... i came back home and i cried
i really feel bad about it ... Andi warned be about it .... i sit here with swollen eyes and a headache... and i dont know why i am so emotionally... yeah the way she treats me fucking hurts .... and its not jealousy.... and i dont know what to do... there is the concert we all go to together next week .... i´d wish i could look forward to it .... i will keep silence
smile....yeah i can do that...... smile though i cry inside .... andi told me to talk to her and adress everything ... why me? sick and tired of always being the forward one ....
i am way from being perfect ... i am so full of faults .... i am trying to be the best i can be... for everybody .... but pleasing them i am getting lost along the way....
she hurts me with her behaviour ......
everything will be fine
Angie
1 comment:
Babe don't try and please anyone but you and Julia ... she should be treating you better than that. I know it's hard ... but friendship is a two way street.
Just remember I am always here for you no matter what ... even though I am the other side of the world. And even though there is a guy in my life ... friends come first always. You have been there for me so many times over the past couple of years and it means the world to me. The least I can do is be there for you the best I can considering the distance.
You are a wonderful caring person and I value your friendship more than you will ever know. You are important to me and i love you heaps :) mwah
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