here i am again. but-sad, devastated,lost, empty, dont know how to discribe it. my mom died last saturday. they called me, but i came to late. no more talks, no more hugs no more mom. now i have to organize the 3rd funeral since march last year. i hav enough!!!!!!! i dont want no more. feel so empty. somehow i always put the thought of her dying far away. she was doing better. i didnt want her to die. i am feeling selfish. i want her back. my eyes so swollen. weak knees. the doctor said i ll be ok. it ll take a few days. it takes longer. friday is the funeral. i hope i can get through it. no - i will get through it. for her. mom i love u! we will never forget u! u live in our hearts and thoughts forever!!!