1.If flying is so safe, why do they call an airport the terminal?
2.A good friend will come and bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn, that was fun!"
3.I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place.
4.When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."
5.Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
6.Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
7.If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called LABOR!
8.Wouldn't you know it. Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.
9.Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed in a federal building?
10.Bumper sticker of the year: "If you can read this, thank a teacher; since it's in English, thank a soldier."
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