so here we go. this is the man i wanna spend the rest of my life with. i would if we could. but many things are in our way. he swept me away and i began to love him. he just stepped in my life when i wasnt looking for love. isn´t that the best way to find love? don´t look for it.
now here i am with all my feelings. and i try to sort them out. i look at him and i see so much that i look for in a man. and i dont talk about look. he is very sexy in my eyes. but there is more i see in him.
just the way he made me laugh. very sexy. the way he made me feel. very loved. the way he treats and talks about his family. very manly and wonderful. a man u could imagine having kids with. waking up beside him. his honesty surprised me. his voice gives me a certain feeling. so warm. so full of love.
and then..... and then things happend in our lives. things we couldnt control. something happend to me and i am still so sorry he had to deal with that.i can still feel his pain when we talk about it on a rare occasion. and i dont know if we can overcome that. no let me correct that. i DO know we will overcome that. if i am ready to move on and dont let it ruin my life i think he can do that too. but i understand when he says he felt so helpless and wanted to beat him up. i am glad he wasnt there. i couldnt have faced him. couldnt stand being touched.
but now...... i feel he is the only one who can heal me...
This is something I can’t hide. Can’t throw it away. This is something I can’t fake.
They know you’re away. They know how to break me.They know you’re far away ....
then....... something happend in his life too. his niece got very sick. and loves her so much. she will be ok but i know its hard to see a child suffer. it almost broke his heart and he was there for her day and night. spending nights beside her bed in the hospital. how can u not love him? its a side of him i love. u feel protected. loved. a family man.
thats where the silence began. and i couldnt understand why. he gets silent when he is stressed. he explained that to me. but it was hard. i know he has a stressful job. but how can u not just say "HI" ? he said he is not happy with how he handles the situation and that he is sorry.
he asked me to be there and not give up. he wants to handle it in his speed to come back to himself. i agreed. he said not to take it personally when he behaves like a jerk. doesn´t he know everything he does and and says affects me? cam was a flirt but he used it to be mad at me? not to talk to me........ i guess that was the jerk?
after all i made a decision to hang in there. i know this is mad. there is a guy who is willing to marry me tomorrow ( yeah i know Aims!!! lol hey i see u rolling those eyes :P) and i hang my heart on a guy that has crisis and needs time to get back to himself.
Love’s a lonely road sometimes. I keep moving on...Towards the moment you’ll be mine. A long way to go...To where we belong...We’ll be there before long
but hey......he is worth the wait. i want u to know i dont write this piece about him to push him into anything. just had to air it. yes i am in love and i want u all to know. and if we are meant to be then it will happen. if not then there will be a lucky girl at his side. i am at a point in my life when i can say that.
Could you believe I’m waiting for someone. Could you believe I’m holding the night with my hands. Alone in the night on my own. I feel the pain inside me...Only you can heal me!!
as i wrote this piece i was listen to a song from Sunrise Avenue... " Heal me "... i wanna dedicate this song to a wonderful man whom i wish just the best in life. i am tired and i feel i start to sound confusing lol. i just wrote everything that came out. sorry if it sounds confusing. just wanted to tell u about a great guy.
everything will be fine.... i just know
Angie
P.S... here a huge thank you to Mr. HP India... u know who u are ;) ty for being there and listening. its always so much fun talking to u ! and yeah u are right... gold digger is not a thing for me :P hugs
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