I think i wont be doing so well....

sooooooooooo .. its january.. once again... since 4 years now january is not my fave month.... its the month my mom passed away. and i was not ready. i damn was not ready to let her go. but she just left without asking us. damn cancer. i wanted more time. damn cancer.

even now i sit here crying. i am not over. will never be over it. i try to ignore it through the year. the pain. the loss. the empty space. but in january its not working.

she would have turned 60 on Jan 3 rd. i remember when we celebrated her 50 thiest. or maybe i better dont. it hurts. mothers are much needed. take good care of ur mothers. tell them u love them. hug them. i wish i could. but cancer took her away. way too early.

so i think i wont be doing so well this month.

i love u mom. u are deeply missed.

god only cries for the living.. cause they are left behind !