Vienna...

i am back. And what a vacation it has been. Although i love vienna it has been very stressful.
The kids fought a lot and it was so hot!! Freaking hot. We tried to make the best out of it.
But i already decided to go back in october when its not so hot anymore. We saw a lot of things and we shopped. Vienna is full of tourists at this time. But seeing the beautiful architecture is so wonderful.

Now the other stress factor. It was Scott. I just knew before i went it would go sour. He said since the beginning that it will be very hard for him not to talk to me regulary. So i sent a "hello" and a " i miss you" once in a while. I couldnt have long conversations with him. The ONLY reason for that was i just didn´t have time!!!

It was not a vacation where we were laying at a beach. We had a sightseeing vacation. On the go all the time. 4 kids and 2 adults in a busy city with lots of ppl. We had to keep the kids together and it was very hot and stressful. The kids didnt give us a break, fighting a lot.
So it happend that i sent a sms and then couldnt reply. It upset him a lot. He thought i was ignoring him. To be honest, he got on my nerves. One night when the usual comments came i just chose to ignore him. I had to walk away or we would have had the biggest fight.

I understand that the phone is our only communication, he wants to be a part of my daily life. Just as i want to be a part of his. But when i have the feeling that i am being controlled then i am getting rebellious. Sometimes he behaves like his fave toy is being taken away. It was just too much. I went to sleep and when i woke up i had lots of messages from him and one from teena asking what was going on. I didnt answer. I just didnt have the strenght to deal with it. I am sorry. I called Sabine cause she is the one i talk to not anybody else. He said he called teena cause she knows me and he needed a female opinion. She doesnt know me at all and i was pissed i have to say. I am very specific about with whom i talk to about my personal things.

So it came out that i just don´t love him as much as he loves me. I guess i have to live with it.
He is just to fast for me. I am still trying to answer a sms when i already get a new one from him. He is so fucking fast in typing. I am not. I do my best to satisfy his need for information. I do love him dearly although he says he doesnt think so. I AM SO SORRY!!!!

i am doing the best that i can. I love my man with all my heart and i always will. This wont break us.

Everything will be fine

Angie