The Kristine story...

how can i explain that to u to understand? this goes to the reader who mailed me...sorry for the other ones who read this before...

we didnt break up cause we had other parnters... we broke up cause of the distance... we still love each other... and that makes it difficult... now Scott always told me to hang in there when i wanted to leave... he begged me not to leave him... then he left....was hard... i held everything up for so long...

so.. there is a guy who says he is still in love with you but he tried to get together with another girl... her name is kristine as he told me... it didnt work out and he says he wished he wants me back... now he may feels different about it since my last blog entry lol... sorry the last entry came flying out of my heart... what i felt ....

as i wanted to delete scotts sms... i thought i´ll share some of his messages with you... they meant so much to me... now....

9.6.2007

i know that and i´m not just thinking about me.

i´m apologising for the pain i caused you!

i asked him why he still thinks he loves me?

18.6.2007

Because u never gave up on me!

he says he needs to tell me something important... wonder what it could be?

18.6.2007

ok. a few months ago, i started seeing this girl.

she told me she was just out of a 2 year abusive relationship.

i treated her like a queen. Made her feel good about herself

that she told me she loved me. Then the last few days she had

been acting rather strange.then last night she came around,

with her boyfriend and said she wanted to make it work with him.

ok now. wait... can u imagine what i felt right that minute?? can u? so i asked

him how serious that was...

18.6.2007

no no. u dont understand. we werent exactly going out. it was very

casual. i wanted to make it more serious about a month ago. NO!

I DONT LOVE HER! i didnt even sleep with her until last week.it just

went all wrong from there.

so he says he doesnt love her. ok.. i am confused... wanting a relationshíp but no love...hmmm

it didnt work... so what does this mean i asked him?

18.6.2007

that perhaps i should never have left u in the first place.

yay for me huh... now u understand me feeling like plan B?

18.6.2007

it did hurt me knowing about that other guy. that´s probably why

i tried to get this girl. we were friends first.

ok ok... here we go... i am at fault... i had 1 date... just 1 date and he

felt he needs a girlfriend... ok? so... its my fault?

29.6.2007

Honestly ange. i am not lying to you.

i have nothing to gain from lying to you!

this is so not like you.

i cant understand why u are

adamant that i am.

this is when my tummy pain started... waking up feeling bad... thinking something is up with scott... never had these before in our long relationship... i felt that there is something wrong...

but i knew he never would lie to me...

30.6.2007

hey angel ! i´m home in bed now.

just got in from work. not gonna be sleeping long.

gotta be up in a few hours.

got so much work to do before i go back to work

this afternoon. i hope u are ok. and stop freaking out.

miss you!

talk to you soon. good night!

he calls me angel again... strange... missed hearing that... so i should stop freaking out... yeah...if i can get rid of the feeling that something is major wrong....

2.7.2007

I miss u so much !

awww... he just knows how to get to my heart

5.7.2007

Hey! i got online today. went to your blog.

saw the shout tag.

noticed toms comment.

can only guess what happend next?

i checked my mail,

but someone deleted all my mail in hotmail.

very strange.

didnt get to see yours.

I´m sorry u dont believe me when i

said i havent spoken to kristine.

i dont understand whats going on.

dont know what to do anymore.

i´m sorry.

wish i could talk to you!

i really miss you!

so... i sent him a mail.. someone deleted all the mails... the mails to kristine too? how convinient... so if he didnt get to read my mail!!!!!!!! why does he say he is sorry i dont belive him when he says he hasnt spoken to kristine?... thats what my mail was all about...thin ice...

5.7.2007

Angel, please.

i dont understand.

what makes u so sure i am lying about anything?

what do u know that i dont?

i am sorry.

i dont know what i have done!

me repeating again that i think he is lying to me...i just know damned...

now here comes a good part!!!!!!!!!!!!

5.7.2007

oh my god. u are such a sneak.

i was just talking to my brother daniel

and he told me he emailed kristine a few

weeks ago when i was at work.he tried to

take revenge.but u were dishonest.

and u lied to me also!

oh... here we go... he thinks i caught him checking his mails???? he must mistake me with karen... the one who controlled him... i dont even know his pw... but to make sure he blames it on daniel???? am i the only one who thinks this is bull?

6.7.2007

i didn think u would have had a response to that.

either u think i´m lying or u are too humiliated to admit

what u did.

i choose the former. either way.

i dont care. i care about you

and that is all. i am tired of this shit ange.

do what u want. fuck tom. marry him for all i care.

i tried my best under the circumstances.

its all i have to offer. sorry. night

so i didnt answer and he forgave me ...oh well... all the things that happen when u dont answer someone... but i am forgiven... so i went through his mails and i am forgiven? good to know if i really do it... I AM NOT KAREN!!!!!

6.7.2007

i miss you.

and i love you.

and i wish i could have u back.

but if u dont want me

then i wont bother coming over.

i´ll stay just here.

still silence on my side... wow... i was surprised when i read this... so he wants me back... but i dont wanna go back...i told him to change the pw so that daniel cant do it again... he told me to do it... he gave me his pw and i went there... what did i see??? emails... from kristine... his answers... i instantly got up and ran away... my friend read them and brought me back to read one... to see that he is playing... i cried so much...he gave me the pw knowing that there will be emails?... i told him and he got mad at me... it is none of my biz to read his mails... yeah :(

16.7.2007

i wont do that. honestly i wont.

i know that there is more to you than just your boobs.

look at it this way. to me its like a reward.

i give u all the love and respect u deserve.

and i have the opportunity to handle the sexiest

part of your body every night.

wohooo... my boobs... big soft and beautiful... he is such a charmer...

14.8.2007

all i am asking is that we can have respect for one another.

nomore of this bullshit between us ok.

we should be worth more to each other than this...

17.8.2007

u are dating again...

okay...

thats good...

i guess...

i tested how he would react to that news...

7.9.2007

hey. was in sydney and jumped online. checked my mail.

got yours. thought i got lucky and u send me a pic of your

naked boobs. no luck.

also read your blog. u are right.

i dont give u enough credit.

u put up with so much of my shit.

and i am sorry.

i hope things get better for us.

talk to u soon.

Ps: i hope u are ok. always thinking about you. sorry...

No comment.... :(

11.9.2007

i´m sorry... for everything.

i dont know whats wrong with me.

yeah... i try to figure that out too scott...

11.9.2007

ange. u are over reacting.

u didnt feel anything.

i have had no real contact with her at all.

NONE.

all u have is me checking and replying to my mail.

there is nothing there. ok!

so... he admits having contact... but? so i was right!!! my feelings were right!!!!!!!!!

11.9.2007

I dont have anything for her anymore.

i dont know why u keep insisting that there is.

what happend on the weekend? what did u do?

there... he said it...

12.9.2007

love me so much u hate me.

its ok. i havent exactly been a pillar of

good intentions, have i ?

i deserve what i get.

u are saying it scott, u are saying it... END